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A defining moment

Thursday, May 26, 2016

I just gave my mom a pair of shorts that are too small for me. She held them up then exclaimed, "Oh Lord! I hope those don't fit me, they are HUGE! Look at these, look how big they are!" Now I'm hiding in the bathroom crying. Does she ever think before she talks? Why would anyone think that was an acceptable response? Like getting ready to go to the beach wasn't stressful enough since none of my shorts or bathing suits fit. I'm okay, it just hurt my feelings. Worse than that, she's completely oblivious & continues to babble about meaningless dribble. This moment I realize is one of those defining moments that will either make me stronger or break me. I'm already extra sensitive this morning because I weighed & I was up 3.4 pounds. These are the moments that typically lead to a binge, but not today. I refuse to allow her to derail me. I've been working so hard. I've been walking, tracking calories, and drinking water, and will continue to do so. Eventually I should start making progress...I hope. If I don't, I will need to contact my doctor. Regardless of how slow or non-existent my progress is, others will not cause me to to binge. I am no longer that girl!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • SMALLSTEPS
    I, too, have a less than "Hallmark" mom. Oblivious is the only word for it, so wrapped up in themselves. Taking to your blog is good - you're expressing the pain you used to repress with calories and thoughts of, I'm guessing, worthlessness.

    You are correct - you are not that girl. You are strong woman, your own soul, not a part of your mother.

    I was up pounds last week too - turned out to be Ye Olde Monthly Bloating. Back on course now - be patient with yourself. And, be a friend to yourself, a mother to yourself, as you would wish to have nurturing ones in your life.

    Big hug!
    1840 days ago
  • BROOKLYN_BORN
    Hurtful comments are bad enough from strangers, but when they come from someone who is supposed to love us, it's especially hard to take. Good for you for not letting it kill your motivation to succeed.

    When I reached my goal weight, I bought a new bathing suit. In the locker room a woman said to me "That's a great suit when you're SMALL on top"
    The story and more about living with saboteurs and the suit too are in one of my recent blogs.
    http://www.sparkpeople.co
    m/mypage_public_journal_individ
    ual.asp?blog_id=6166083



    1841 days ago
  • PISCES24
    It took me a while to lose some pounds also and yes the scale was not my best friend, but I keep plugging away and stay on track with food and exercise is hard some days, but I am 11 lbs down and been doing this 70 days. I will keep plugging away, it didn't happen over night and it is not going to come off over night. Keep your goals realistic and don't give up. Look at how much better you feel, the non-scale victories out weigh the scale victories by far. Even though we still want to see the scale move. Hang in there you are doing great!!! :)
    1844 days ago
  • no profile photo CD16444585
    I'm glad you blogged about this. As insensitive as her comment was, and as much as it hurt, I'm glad you were able to get it off your chest, so to speak, and to see clearly, rather than holding it in, giving up, and giving in to a binge. Congratulations! That in itself is a victory! We have to conquer our emotional issues before we can fully conquer our physical responses.
    1845 days ago
  • KOFFEENUT
    Good for you! Even though this hurt, rather than using it to beat yourself up with you're doing what you DO have control over - continuing to walk, track, and drink water. In the end, THOSE things will make a difference. You hang in there!
    1845 days ago
  • LADYARTIST41
    Sending you the biggest tightest hug I can send
    1846 days ago
  • B-LESS-ED
    Good for you. Stay Strong! You can become the person you want to be one choice at a time.
    1846 days ago
  • AZBIGMOMMA
    You can do it! Keep your head up. Cry, let it out, use that anger to fuel your next workout. Good luck!
    1846 days ago
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