SP Premium
BECOMINGME0693
2,500-3,999 SparkPoints 2,718
SparkPoints
 

Days 16,17,18

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Starting to feel really hopeless at this point... I am either in bed sleeping or up and awake but in pain.
It feels like everything is just closing in on me. I thought having my husband home would help but it hasn't and it feels like at this point nothing will...

I can feel like darkness pulling me in once more and I can feel myself slipping into the habits that once had me near death, and I am not talking about food, what I am talking about is way worse than that...

I don't know what to do, I am tired of fighting and I just want to give up... I can't do this much more... I guess this life isn't for me...

In all honesty the only reason I am writing this is to get the words out of my head and written in some form. The more I write the more everything feels real, and the more I can't handle it.....
Share This Post With Others
Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MYERSKYM
    Kassandra are you doing OK it has been a while since tour last post???
    1872 days ago
  • FRANNIEDID
    Kassandra, I have to echo everyone else, don't give up. I know that it seems dark and that you often cannot see the light ahead but please know that it can get better. Know that people care about you and how you are doing. I am sending all of the positive thoughts that I can.

    1878 days ago

    Comment edited on: 6/1/2016 10:07:02 PM
  • MYERSKYM
    I send you hugs and healing you can beat this I promise. I used to cut myself all the time so I know your pain. I promise you can neat this
    1879 days ago
  • MYERSKYM
    In her life and in that home. Kassandra can toubdo me a favor and go on YouTube and find Jeremy Camp and listen to there will be a day. Can you so that for me just listen to the world. And then post back that you listened to it. Do not give up
    1879 days ago
  • MYERSKYM
    Kassandra my sweet friend do not give up you are a gift and God made you perfect. Do not listen to it. I have been in your place my sweet. I pray healing over you into the name of Jesus darkness be gone and leave that place you have no domain
    1879 days ago
  • AMY_1217
    Kassandra, don't you dare give up on yourself! Look how far you've come! I know the darkness is so hard to keep at bay sometimes. It just feels so all-consuming. You've got the strength to get through this, I know it.

    Take a step back, focus on getting your pain under control, then carry on from there. Have you heard anything from the doctor yet? When is your appointment?

    Keep up your strength, sip that water as much as you can to avoid dehydration, and get as much rest as you can. And by all means, if you need to talk, let me know! I'm here for you, you're worth it!
    1879 days ago
  • STEPHLOKI
    Big hug from me
    1880 days ago
  • STEPHLOKI
    So sorry that you are feeling so low. But very courageous to write it down publicly. I have often felt like you but not voiced it. My therapist told me to write all my achievements down and when I feel like that read through them
    1880 days ago
  • RALPHDB
    Time to see a therapist?
    1880 days ago
  • Add Your Comment to the Blog Post

    Log in to post a comment


    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.