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A year in tropical hell & another big move!

Wednesday, July 27, 2016

..here I am again and frankly, I'm not sure what the hell happened.
Just had my 54th bday and back up to 160 lbs. boooooo. That said I have been stressed beyond what I thought I could ever deal with.

By the beginning of this year my sister and I were regularly getting on each other's nerves. I was getting zero "assistance" in taking care of our mom, thus she was getting no "handy man/house work out of us". It was truly miserable so hubby snd I made the decision to move out and spent several long months looking at every thing we could find that would accommodate both of us and my mother. My sister was so upset , that I signed us up for therapy to try and smooth out the transition. It didn't work. Things got SO crazy and emotionally charged that as we found a place and started the process of getting it, sister went full bat poop crazy. It's a long , sordid story but she was able to get me arrested after a non-event, in which I was the only one hurt. Still, it's a big nasty mess still hanging over my head. During this time my mom got sick and after a hospital stay we moved her to a nursing home, where she has been for about 3 months. Hubby and I are in our new place, over the moon happy with it, but I'm still struggling with massive guilt around putting my mom in a nursing home.

So much to do as we settle in and decorate, etc., that I have made time for serious workout in months. I did follow thru with a cardiologist , learning I have somewhat leaking heart valves (mitral/atrial ) but nothing that should b stopping me from working out. Another sister on the mainland recently found out she has congestive heart failure and that is weighing on me too.

So, I have the "go ahead" to get it together and get healthy......but all I want to go is sleep and carb load!!!

Maybe I can recapture the spark magic I so greatly need to get thru this stressful life phase!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Oh wow what a lot going on!!!!!!

    First, don't feel guilty about putting your mom in a nursing home. If it's a nice place, she's better off. She'll get round the clock care, and medical care as needed. You can spend quality time with her without feeling like you have to check X, Y, and Z. You can be there for HER.

    When my mother no longer recognized home as HOME, despite having lived in that house for 35 or more years, I realized it didn't really matter where she was as long as she was taken care of and safe. (She wandered out of the house - NOT safe!) So when our dad made the decision it was time, we all agreed.

    So DON'T feel guilty!

    Next, there isn't much you can do about a crazy sister. I know. She may need meds, but that's her issue. Take care of yourself first.

    So now, you. You know what to do. You can add more fruits and vegs, drink plenty of water, and start taking walks. Do a little more each week. Build those healthy habits. Walk on the beach or swim, to get exercise and to de-stress. It all helps.

    You did this before and you can do it again - only now, you're in a beautiful new place!!!!

    1752 days ago
    First of all, let me say how wonderful is was to see your name on my spark feed. I thought about you often, and wondered how the move to Hawaii went...I even sent you a spark goodie now and then. I am so sorry that things have not gone well. Okay, worse then "not gone well" that is an understatement. I would have sent you a loaf of bread with a file in it, emoticon or a stack of pancakes... and a glass of water emoticon Spark goodie, had I known that you got arrested. emoticon Wow. I think moving out of your sisters place was what you needed to do. Sometimes we have to make the right choice for us and others might not like it. My life changed when I made me my #1 priority. I think that your mom is fine in the nursing home in Hawaii...if I were in one, Hawaii would be the place to be. I am thrilled to see you back. Spark isn't what it use to be...not sure why...no one does video's like we use to do...yours were the best. No more dance offs or anything of that nature...and me, I am so busy hiking all the time that I have little time for anything else. Maybe together we can rock this thing. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Welcome back!!!
    1755 days ago
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