Having trouble staying focused!
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
I have been on such a roller coaster ride these past two weeks. I am fine one minute and depressed the next. I know I need to leave this in God's hands but my mind is working overtime. I am definitely an emotional eater. Thank goodness most of the foods in our house are healthy. Needless to say I am having trouble staying focused. I did manage to do all my exercising today and that is better than the last few days. I hate feeling like I have no control over what is happening with my own body. This week I have been struggling a lot with whether or not I even want the surgery. On one hand I want the surgery but I am afraid that once they start the surgery that my lungs wont be able to handle it and I will die on the operating table. My doctor said his biggest concern about doing the surgery is that once they put me on a vent for the surgery I would never be able to come off the vent and that scares me. On the other hand if I don't have the surgery I could live to be old and happy or I could die tomorrow. These are the things I can not get out of my head. I know God has got me in his hands and that He can handle this. My prayer is that He would help me to be strong for my family and myself.
With all this going on I have not been able to focus on my health and weight loss like I should be. I guess you could say it has taken a backseat. I really do want to be there for each of you cheering you on and I feel like I haven't been very good at that lately either. I want you all to know that I think about you every day and you are in my prayers. I pray you are healthy and happy. I pray that God stands beside you on your journey to good health.
Thank you for listening and letting me vent a little. I really can not voice these things to my family they are still in shock and not handling it very well. Well it is now time for me to record a few last details for the evening and head off to dreamland.If you would please say a little prayer for my family. Thank you so much!
God bless you and keep you on your journey! Have a fabulous night!