Sarah: READ ME before quitting
Wednesday, October 05, 2016
I have read a couple of upsetting blogs this morning, where the blogger was basically expressing the failure I fear. Right now, I am losing weight and committed. I am doing well, not really struggling with the process, and making progress.
But what if that stops for some reason I can't predict? This has been the fear that has kept me from progress for the past two years. I have lost and gained this weight in my 20's, my 30's, and now am dealing with it in my 40's. I have some reasons to think it will be different this time, but what if I am wrong?
So - now I will give my future self advice to read if this happens:
You know, you can start over at any time, any minute, any meal. You have gained and lost this weight over and over, and you know fear of failure definitely interferes with success. So don't be afraid. The evidence is you can do it. By the way - if you don't gain 5 pounds, you can never gain 10, so manage it NOW. Don't wait. Tomorrow will not be easier or better, just tomorrow. The beauty of life is that every single new minute offers the opportunity for a fresh start. No need to wait for Monday, tomorrow, or any other time in the future.
You live life "on", you know. Monitoring, and managing life cannot be avoided. The question is, what is going to be ON for you? Food is not a good hobby, not a good comforter. It is not your friend, just a biological need. You have had hard work to develop other interests not just to keep your hands busy, but to engage your mind and nourish your soul. Go back to these. If you can't go back to them, develop some new ones. You can do it. No food TV, no reading cookbooks, and don't try to take care of everyone and yourself by feeding. It's not the only way, remember? Whatever you get from food only works in the moment, and then it takes it back double later.
You have to eat, so whatever you are eating, s-l-o-w d-o-w-n. Eat slower, take smaller bites, enjoy your meal, take a break and make it last a l-o-n-g time. Make sure you taste that food very thoroughly. Enjoy it for what it is, then leave it. And if you are thinking about what you feel while you are eating, stop eating. Feelings do NOT need to be fed. They pass, and they are not anything to fear or avoid. Don't worry about them. No matter how big they are, feelings pass. Again, you have evidence for this and experience with it, so believe it now, and don't feed your feelings. At all.
Walk the dogs. Even if they can't or don't want to be walked, you deserve to be walked. Your dogs deserve to be walked, so why don't you? Seriously.
Now get back in there.