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Lather, rinse, repeat?

Thursday, December 01, 2016

It's been a while since I have blogged. It has been so busy with the kids going back to school (5 y.o. Started kindergarten!), fall birthdays and holidays, and school events. We are continuing to see a therapist for our 5 y.o., have evaluated a second treatment program we will start in January, and I am still in therapy for depression. I've also had three trips to urgent care for weird/minor things. I've been thinking about how my goals are almost always invariably the same. They're some version of: 1) eat better, 2) get more sleep, and 3) exercise. Which is like a larger version of lather, rinse, repeat. Why do I find it so hard to establish these three habits?! Why?! When I come here, I do make specific goals. I don't always hit them. But I try to make them "SMART" (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely). Why is this so hard?! I have been digging deep in therapy. And thinking a lot outside of therapy. Looking for answers. Enlightenment. Solidarity. Sympathy. Understanding. Commiseration. Hope. Love. Recently I was listening to one of Gretchen Rubin's "Happier" podcasts. In it, she observes that when we have a hard time changing or establishing a habit, it may be because the habit conflicts with a core identity that we have about ourselves. I listened to this twice. And thought that maybe the reason it's so hard for me to take care of myself is because I've always been, and think of myself as, someone who works hard. I'm always checking off my to do list. And there are always more things to do than I have time in a day. So if I didn't get them done.... I must not have worked hard enough. Gretchen and her sister suggest taking a new, higher identity. Or thinking about oneself in a different way. Or reframing the habits. This will take some time for me to process. To say goodbye to the person who knows that working hard earns accolades and praise. It also, however, earns exhaustion, stress, and health problems. I'm now going to try on the idea that I'm someone who "works hard at taking care of herself." There will always be more to-dos than I can fit in my day. I will try to move my 1) nutrition, 2) bedtime and naps, and 3) exercise as the FIRST theee to-dos on my list, instead of the LAST three. The goal is to make those three as automatic as lather, rinse, repeat! Back in the summer I listed some goals. Here's how I did: 1) get my back fixed all the way by a chiropractor - done 2) figure out what's going on with iron levels/fatigue - kind of done. I had my iron levels checked and they were normal/low. I also had my iron supplements renewed. I took them for a bit and am feeling somewhat better. Why don't I just try sleeping more For a change?! 3) meditate 15 minutes daily - I'm up to 10 minutes every other day! The Apple Watch breathe app is great- I do this when I tuck my 5 y.o. In and wait for him to fall asleep 4) possibly get a gait analysis done because my foot is still not 100%- not done 5) work up to cardio 5 x a week by the end of the month-not done 6) track my food and stay in my calorie range!! - not done but I keep trying 7) strength exercises 3x week for neck, back, and foot - not done 8) sign up for August and September races -not done With he holiday season here, I'm not going to make any grand goals. I'm going to: 1) make appointment to see doctor about a couple health issues 2) work up to cardio 3x week 3) continue meditation 10 min at least every other day 4) track food 6 days a week 5) take a nap if I didn't sleep 8 hours the night before. Thanks for listening. Hope everyone has a great day! -Amy
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    But still true. I hope your depression is getting better, that makes it hard to do anything or see the good things about yourself.
    1695 days ago
    I hear you.... and I think maybe you are too hard on yourself. I hope you will try to put yourself first more often. It's kind of like the oxygen mask, you need to put yours on before you help other people. That's incredibly hard with kids...
    1695 days ago
    Keep on keeping on!

    Make today the greatest day of your lifeā€¦
    emoticon Until tomorrow!

    1696 days ago
  • DGHAG66
    Even small steps add up! You are not giving up, that's the important thing. Don't strive to be perfect, strive to do your best. You got this!
    1696 days ago
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