Why am I doing this?
Monday, January 30, 2017
I keep asking myself why I bother trying to lose this weight. Then I remember - So I can live.
Ive tried losing weight my entire life and never succeeded beyond losing maybe 20 pounds. Then I would gain those 20 pounds back with 10-15-20 more added to it. A typical yo-yo dieter. I finally decided it just wasn't worth it to starve or to deny myself things I liked so I quit dieting. Then I found SparkPeople. Of course, I didn't find it until I was in my late 60's.
I've been using SparkPeople and all it's tools for the last 2 years. I initially lost 26 pounds, well over the first year I lost it. Since then I've been back on the seesaw with weight loss. So, I'm still basically in the same place I was at a year after I started. At least I haven't gained all of the 26 pounds back.
I HAVE to lose weight (50 more pounds) to get a lung transplant because I'll die without one So what's my problem? I finally figured out that I wasn't truly committed to losing weight. WHAT?? WHY??? I don't know why? I just know I couldn't believe myself when I figured this out. Did I want to die? Well, NO! Then what was wrong with me? I still haven't figured that out but I have made some decisions.
I'm going to continue on this journey but not because of the possibility of a lung transplant.
Whether I can get one is not up to me. Yes, losing the weight is a deciding factor but not the only one.
My reasons for losing the weight now are:
1 - To treat my body like the temple The Bible says it is.
2 - To reduce medications
3 - To breathe as good as I possibly can without a transplant.
4 - To get healthier so I will be fit enough for a transplant if one is possible.
5 - To make my life as good as it can be while I'm living here on earth.
Oh, and don't feel sorry for me. I couldn't do anything to prevent this disease but I've lived as well as I can with it. And I have no fears about death, the Lord will take me home when he's ready for me and nothing can take me away before that time.