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Just another day in my life....

Monday, April 24, 2017

I have been told more than once that I should write a story about my life. I think it was mostly a joke because I have had so many problems in my life. I have been physically, verbally, mentally and sexually abused for most of my life. I have had heartache that I thought would never heal when my second husband was murdered by a man that was one of his closest friends. Next came the wreck. I had to have 5 surgeries on my leg because it was pinned. So that put me on a walker for awhile. Then I got sick. First I was forced to quit my job because I kept falling asleep at my computer. Then I was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. Then I got a cough that would not go away and my mother would say I was turning gray. So more testing and I was diagnosed with COPD and had to go on oxygen before the hospital would release me to go home. From there my health declined even more and I ended up in a wheelchair. I had pretty much given up at that point. Then it got worse. Just when you think it was getting better, I received another blow to my health. I had an aneurysm in my brain and needed surgery but the doctor here said I would never survive that surgery. He referred me to a neurosurgeon at my insistence. It was at that moment when he said I would not survive that my survival mode kicked in. I was not ready to die. I had already been exercising because he had told me if I lost some weight it would help my lungs dramatically. After the brain surgery, once the surgeon cleared me to exercise again I started working on my leg muscles and started walking. It was not very far at first but as I got stronger I worked up to 1 mile. I was ecstatic! So I set a goal to walk 5K in February. I did it! I was so sore for 2 days I could hardly walk but I did it and there was no going back. In March I walked 4 miles! I set a new goal to walk 5 miles by May 2oth. I am not so sure I am going to do it by that date now but I am not giving up. Then on the 10th of this month I went for a followup with the neurosurgeon and had a cat scan to see if the aneurysm was indeed gone. They came back and said I needed an MRI but did not explain other than to say it was not a good picture. He told me they would have the results the next day because it was so late in the day when it was done. So we left and came home. Only to find out two days later that I now have a blocked artery in my brain but they are not sure how bad it is. I go back May 5th for an arterial angiogram to find out how bad it is and determine what needs to happen next. So then I get bronchitis and it hangs on for 3 weeks. It finally got better and I thought everything was good. Wrong! This weekend I started having cramps, charley horses and sharp pains all on the right side of my body from my toes to my head and every where in between that there was a muscle. I saw my regular doctor today and he believes it may be a precursor to a stroke. He wanted to confer with the neurosurgeon in Little Rock to see what he had to say. I am now playing the waiting game again that is my life. He is supposed to call me as soon as they discuss with him.I am not supposed to drive anymore than I just have too. I am not allowed to go walking by myself anymore until we find out what is going on and nothing to strenuous.
You know what though? I am not giving up. I am going to fight this new development with every ounce of my being. I am going to beat this too. I can still do my chair exercises but have to be careful about the strength training for now. So that is what I am going to do. I am going to stick to my diet and keep eating healthy because I will get back on track again. I have my faith that will see me through. I also have family and my friends, most especially my Spark friends that I talk to every day. You guys are like the light in the lighthouses that I love so much. Some of you have stories that are just as bad as mine and even worse. If you can still do this then I know I can too!

My message to all of you is Never Give Up! I know life gets hard but there is a reason you are here and reading this blog! I have been there many times and I am there right now. But as long as we keep fighting good things will happen! They cannot happen if you do not try! We are all in this together! We need each other to lean on, to share with and to support when we need it. Together we can do anything!

I believe in me and I believe in you!!

God bless you and keep you on your journey! Have a fabulous day!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1544 days ago
    I am just catching up. Wow. You have come through so much and so far, that you can do anything. Never give up. Never give in. And write that book!

    Praying for you.
    1545 days ago
  • _LINDA
    I sincerely hope they attend to that blocked artery in your brain before it does give you a stroke!!
    Yes, I agree you should write a book on your life. All your blogs are much like chapters anyway. So chock full of info. Sad as it is, people like hearing bad news more than good which is why crime shows are so popular. Imagine, shows about coroners being popular! Bad news is more titillating than good. But its not all bad. They also like come from behind stories. Cheering for the underdog. Cheering for the person for who you would think there would be no hope. That is where inspiration comes from. Being beaten down again and again, but always fighting back. You do this. Over and over. A strong will to live and never give up.
    Keep on being amazing! Wishing you would get a break for once in this lottery of life.

    1553 days ago
  • no profile photo CD17758185
    My biggest fear is getting into a crash. I cannot even imagine! good for you to keep up a good attitude and i am very grateful for this post
    1553 days ago
    You are in my thoughts, We can do this!
    1553 days ago
  • BJAEGER307
    Barb, to this day, I still cannot imagine all that your have gone through with. My heart aches for you, but at the same time it beats with joy. You have such determination, such drive, and one special personality that serves you well.

    My prayers are always with you Barb and your family. Sending you the best that the world offers. You take care of yourself Barb. emoticon emoticon
    1553 days ago
    You have come so far in this journey of life and you keep on going. So it's no surprise to me that you will continue to keep on going. You have a beautiful attitude that shines off every post you write. Prayers and hugs my spark friend
    1553 days ago
    emoticon emoticon Hope for your situation Barb. Thoughts and prayers from here. emoticon
    1553 days ago
    emoticon emoticon You have definitely come too far to give up! Keep fighting the good fight, my friend!! emoticon emoticon
    1553 days ago
    Wow. That is a lot. With a handle like "LadyLUK" I think most people would assume you had had a lot of good luck in your life - and you certainly have had quite the opposite. However, you seem determined to make your own luck and I believe in you. A positive attitude is the way to go and you certainly have that! Wishing you all the best.
    1553 days ago
    ((((HUGS)))) Thanks to you for sharing your story I appreciate all you've been thru and struggled with. The fact that you haven't given up . . . OK that's something we ALL need to remember. NEVER GIVE UP.

    My prayers are with you as you work thru this latest challenge. Wrapping you AND your health care providers in prayers so there is a good plan developed for treatment and a good outcome.

    1553 days ago
  • MAWMAW101
    Love and peace and good outcome to this delima too! emoticon
    1553 days ago
    There is no keeping the human spirit down. You are a shining example of that!!!
    1554 days ago
  • EISSA7
    Thinking of you and sending prayers your way.... emoticon
    1554 days ago
  • BLUEJAY1969
    I know with all you have beaten, you will beat this too! I have prayed for you my friend and will keep doing so! Please take care of yourself and follow the doctor's orders!
    1554 days ago
    Your faith, friends, and fortitude will carry you through. Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sending you prayers for the best outcome with your new health challenges!
    1554 days ago
    I read your blogs andyou inspire me, I got hit by a gravel truck with a full oad of gravel then when I thought I was doing better and old man wh was senile drove into me You are going to make it we are too stubborn to give up!
    1554 days ago
    Thank you for posting this. It is so inspiring. You shine positivity on the rest of us. I think you could write a book. Thinking of you today.
    1554 days ago
    1554 days ago
    I'm so sorry to hear all of this. I truly hope things go well through all of this. You've been through so much. Prayers to you.
    1554 days ago
  • AMYV2473
    I wish you the best of outcomes.
    1554 days ago
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