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Still Hanging in There...

Wednesday, February 07, 2018

Yes, I am still here. I am around... well sometimes. I flit in and and out of SP. There are times I can go for weeks without peeking in and I feel bad about that, but as they say, life has a way of clicking by. Hours turn into days which turn into weeks which turn into months...

So far, 2018 has been off to an interesting start. I ended off 2017 with a touch of illness (just a stomach thing) and both my son and I came down with the flu last month. Full on, flat on our backs flu. Captain Trips, anyone?

It took me the better part of 2 weeks to get back to feeling somewhat normal(ish). The extreme exhaustion and coughing was awful! I spent the better part of a week just sleeping. It was pretty crazy.

2017 ended on a bit of a rocky slide. This last fall was a pretty tough one for me emotionally and has been an incredibly tough adjustment, also. Sending my little guy off to kindergarten really put me in an interesting place. I have been dealing with a bit of an "empty nest" feeling with him heading off to school, plus to top that off, my daughter moved out so it was a bit of a double whammy. Also, a bit of an identity crisis trying to figure out "what now?" It has been an odd mixture of emotions but I have spent a lot of time working through it all and I have come to a peaceful place and it has felt good.

Having the kids home from school for Christmas was a fun time, Christmas was awesome and I am hard pressed to believe that I am sitting into February already.

I am still really focused on working through a habit based approach to weight loss and it is such an incredibly slow process but one I have fully embraced. It has taken me a very long time to reach this point but I have made full peace with it. I enjoy taking my time to work through each habit and am seeing changes, albeit slow ones, but they're coming.

The biggest thing I have noticed is simply the fact that the application of the habits is pretty easy now. It has taken a lot of mental work to break some of my old molds to reach this point. I have a pretty neutral mindset toward it all, which has been one of the best things. I think the thing that has been interesting to realize is how effortless it has become. Working through hunger and satiety signals took full mental power for so long and now it is relatively effortless. There are days that I certainly don't always hit the habits, but one of the most amazing things has been my acceptance of those days. The full realization (and acceptance) that they are just truly small blips on the overall radar of life. I can effortlessly eat 3 meals with no snacking, I don't reach for food anymore when I am not hungry and I have truly been able to learn to tap into the satiety signals. It has been amazing to feel the empowered feelings of being in charge and not feeling like I am constantly surrendering to it all.

Empowerment has been such a big thing for me. It is an amazing feeling to not feel the pull of things but the 100% true feeling that I am in charge 100% of the time with my ability to apply the habits. Also, the feelings that I don't always work them, but that's okay, too. Simply because it isn't about working toward perfection but *most of the time*

It has been nice to settle into an easy ebb and flow to life. I think that's the thing that is truly amazing, being able to settle in after a pretty rocky stormy season. The full appreciation of the quiet times along with the acceptance of the rocky ones.

I enjoy using my Fitbit daily and it has been on my wrist every day since I bought it in early May. I love the simplicity of it and how it lets me know my daily activity. I am enjoying going back to the gym. I took a pretty long hiatus with being sick and Christmas but my pleasantly sore (okay, maybe not so pleasant haha) muscles are there reminding me that I can jump back in when I am ready. Just as easy as that.

I think the biggest thing that I have witnessed is my ability to be okay with not seeking out perfection when it comes to how I eat and move. Anyone who knows me, knows that this has been a struggle for a very long time. It has taken me -- literally -- years to accomplish. It hasn't been an easy fight but one that has been well worth it. It is truly an amazing and freeing feeling to have that open freedom and amazing mindset when it comes to food and fitness.

I feel good. I feel happy and calm and am enjoying things for the first time in awhile. I will continue to peek in and out of SP but would like to be a bit more active. Hope everyone else is doing well!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Really nice to hear from you again. Happy Belated Birthday, BTW. I figured you were probably a little too busy living to be on SP a whole lot. Glad to hear the Habits have finally, really, taken hold and are working for you. I am so impressed, amazed and happy that you have been able to let go of "perfect". I remember all the numbers and plans you used to post. Seemed like they took a huge amount of time and thought. Thinking now you are spending some of that time and thought enjoying living instead of planning percentages of nutrients. Glad to hear your adjustments to the ever shifting demands on time and attention is going well, that the children are growing up and doing well, that you didn't go nuts when your youngest started school, or your oldest spread her wings. Hope all your sunrises are beautiful!
    1166 days ago
    Glad to hear from you and know that you are in such a good place.
    1166 days ago
    Good for you! That perfectionist trap is awful. I battle with that too. I know a lot of women do. Good for you to be so self aware!

    Really glad you are feeling better. I went through the same identity crisis thing too. I have gone through it at different stages in the kids' ages, not just my own. It's kinda nuts because we should be happy with the present. Just being! I made of list of the things that really make me happy - not just what I think I should say makes me happy. It helped me make a lot of decisions about what to do with me!
    1185 days ago
    Great to see you! So glad you are feeling better and getting into a groove! If feels good when this healthy lifestyle starts to come natural.

    Here's to a fit and fabulous February!!!

    1185 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I'm glad you are recovered. We've had kids out left and right. Not just flu either - we've had strep, pink eye, and the usual cold viruses going around. Usually we start to see less absences after about President's Day weekend, so I'm really hoping that pattern holds this year.

    "Most of the time" is a much easier mark to hit consistently than "perfection" and the end results are much better.
    1185 days ago
  • VHAYES04
    Never give up
    1186 days ago
    Hang in there
    1186 days ago
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