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Making Changes/Seeing... Something?

Monday, August 06, 2018

So it's been a long time. I've been strong and enduring but I've also been lazy and sluggish. I can't blame that on my thyroid induced energy levels or lack there of. It's been me. I'd given up, but not wholly. It's strange really.

The truth of it all is that I tracked, paid attention and exercised every freaking day. My trouble? My husband.

That amazing, always supportive, giver of any and everything has been my terrible crutch. My husband has always been one of those guys who needs to eat with someone not. He simply hates to eat alone. He also works a shift that brings him home at midnight. This has been my issue. As soon as he comes home, he eats again. Yes, he'd eaten dinner while working but he has to eat before going to sleep. He's also the exact same weight since the day we met back in 2001! It sickens me to no end.

And het, when he comes downstairs, he wakes me and we talk. Then we eat. I stayed the same for so long. I began to hate myself and go through periodic cry spells. Finally I said enough.

I sighed up to take personally coached swim classes. I know how to swim but needed strengthening. Since signing up, I've lost more weight and I can see slight indentations where my collar bones rest! It's working! I'm losing and I'm feeling so much better about myself. The crying decreased and my disgruntled frown, each time I look at myself in the nude has faded a bit.

I no longer hate myself but I'm still unhappy. But while I'm growing to like myself again, I managed to buy myself three new bathing suits. I swim every Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday for 80 minutes. I also do cardio, Zumba, spin cycling and weights. Then on Sundays, after church, I do a walking dvd before taking a nap. It's a lot but it's with a schedule I can maintain. I'm happy and I can't wait to reach my next goal.

Thank you for reading and have an amazing week. Cheers!
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