I am approaching 50 lbs of weigh loss. And I am 40 lbs away from goal. Often in this site we speak of “the journey", well I began my journey seven months ago. I remember looking into a mirror for several years and wondering who that was, because it certainly was not me. Now, I catch a glimpse of who I have been looking for and although I sure like the look, I am not sure who she is either.
Throughout my journey, I have dug in with stubbornness. Milked the sweet support of the Spark People. I have met some really amazing people. I hope I have helped others along the way. I pretty much owe “Fitbit” a thank you card. I watched the changes in my body, and the changes in my attitude. I have more energy, and confidence, I am happier. For the last month, I found myself going into my closet and not finding anything to wear….. and this time it is true! Everything was too big. I know I should be doing the happy dance – naked if necessary(omgoodness) , but something feels wrong. This past week I went through the clothes and tried everything on. If it was too big and too old – it when in the throw away pile, if it was too big and too good – it went into the thrift shop pile. I will never be that size again.
Because I am in the middle of my “journey” I invested a little money at the thrift store to help me during the transition. I had to get a bathing suit, because mine has a very droopy bum (not me, the bathing suit!) I went to Winners, and for the first time looked at the clothes there. I had no idea what size I was, and I felt a little out of place looking at size 14 or 12. Anyone who has been large for a time – hates clothes shopping because nothing makes you look 20lbs thinner. I did try on some bathing suits, nothing else tho. I left without purchasing anything. And I felt out of place, like I was cheating or did not belong there. This really gave me food for thought. So, I went home and ordered one on line, less threatening – I think. Person of action, right?
My take away – is that this is a journey, and it is not all about weight loss. It is about personal growth, it is about accepting your body as it changes. It's about setting new challenges and as your body shrinks, learning how to thrive with your new body. Which brings me to another observation… WHAT THE HECK! I have skin that is not shrinking as fast as my body…… what do you do!!! I am not sure why I am feeling out of sorts, generally speaking I am a confident woman, I know what I want and where I am going. SO I do know “this too shall pass” But it is part of the journey I was not prepared for, if it was in the manual I must have skipped those pages. These feelings are confusing.
Not much more I can say…. I will continue on my journey, I will track my food, drink my water, and develop more strength (upper body and core need attention) – I can see the end goal now – I GOT THIS!