Wednesday, October 31, 2018
Well...it's sucks to start over but this is just the consequence of my choices for the last 6 months.
I injured a ligament (badly) and I couldn't do any exercise, not even dumbbells as there was risk of further injury. So I started to feel scared and frustrated and I ate it all. I ate my feelings, my frustration, my shame...
I know that is not an excuse and how wonderful would it be if the food eaten to quiet the soul had 0 calories...but this is the real world and actions have consequences and now I have to deal with mine.
I weighted myself to day, to get the starting point and I'm trying to get a sense of propose out of it (instead of the horrible shame I feel).
I planned my meals, I've been following the plan and I'll do what I can with what I have, even if I can't do a proper workout yet.
I'll eat right, count calories, track my food, drink my water, journal and I'll try to keep a smile on my face.
This might be a (huge) step back, but I think I can learn from it and gain some perspective. In the end, I'm only human and I have to learn to love and forgive myself if I want to succeed in this journey.
I think I need to learn new coping mechanisms (no more binge eating when I'm upset) and I'm starting to get the idea that I won't be able to do it alone,
Here is to starting again and the hope that this will be the last time I fall.