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Sunday, August 25, 2019

Hi SP!

It's been a while.... And I am ready to have you back in my daily life. It's funny how history repeats itself in surprising ways.

The catalyst that brought me to SparkPeople back in 2007 was a bad breakup. My fiance - my college sweetheart - had called it quits two months before our wedding. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I was devastated, but I knew why... I remembered that one time, right after we had started dating, he had told me that I sparkled. Looking at myself, I knew that I'd lost my sparkle somewhere along the way. SparkPeople helped me find it again (and lose 40 pounds!).

Now here I am, almost 12 years later, married for almost 8 years with 3 beautiful kids, and I once again know that I'm not sparkling like I want to be. We've hit some road bumps in our marriage, and it's opened my eyes to myself in a different way. I see myself making so many of the same mistakes.

I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of wearing my hair up, skipping makeup, and wearing frumpy clothes in a weak attempt at trying to convince myself that what I look like doesn't matter. I'm tired of the house being a mess because I just don't have the physical or mental energy to keep up with it all. I'm tired of hating every picture that is taken of me. I'm tired of not being in pictures with my kids... they are growing so fast, and I won't get a second chance! I miss the strong, brave woman I once was - that I know I still am if I'll try a little harder.

I am DONE! I am DONE with watching the years slip by without really living them!

How was I not done sooner? How did I get back here, where I was SO CLOSE to losing another relationship... the love of my life. Now is the time. Today is Day 2. I am going to be uncomfortable for a while as I work to make it over the hump of developing new habits. I refuse to lose my husband and let my family fall apart before I call this spot I'm on rock bottom and decide that things have to change, at least on my part.

I am going to sparkle.
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