On Getting Your Heart Broken
Sunday, November 17, 2019
I'm finding that a good thing (if you could call it that) about getting your heart broken is that it's a bit like riding a bike. It's been 12 years since the last time, but I'm calling on that experience to help me surf the waves of emotion.
Oh what a different time it is! Back when my engagement was called off, I thought the pain would last forever - that surely no one could be able to stand what I was feeling. Everyone says that time heals, but my 24-year-old self had no idea how that I would ever move on.
But I did move on. And I discovered a lot about myself. I started taking care of myself. I came to a place where I did not need a man in my life to make me happy. And I made myself happy. I lost 35 pounds, completed counseling, was able to go off antidepressents.... Then I moved to a new city that I love all by myself, ready to embrace life and all the discomfort of making my own way in a new place. Soon, I'd found my career, and along with it, my tribe. My people. And within 3 years from the time my engagement ended, I had met my husband, who is now the father of my 3 beautiful children.
I am heartbroken that we did not get our happily ever after. It hurts. The stab of betrayal is almost more than I can stand. Almost. But I withstood it before, I will do it again, and I will do it better. I'm doing it with more grace, more dignity, and more openness. This time, I know from experience that I am going to make it out of this a better person for having lived it. While I'm certainly not planning any big moves or career changes, I know for a fact that my adventure will be no less amazing. I can't wait to see what the universe has in store for me and my little ones.