back on track...
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
you know, it's so hard to do this the right way when i know how easy it is to just not eat. god! i'm so angry with myself for falling off. i'm so angry with myself that i wasn't stronger and more determined to do this the right way.
i'm so sorry to all of my members on twenty something sparkers, i feel like i have let you all down. i should be celebrating right now, but i can't. i'm not. i won't let myself.
i'm probably at around 135 now, and yesterday, i bought a skirt at banana republic that was a size 6 and it was a little loose! i'm thrilled. i really am, but i know that the way i got to the weight that i am at is really unhealthy. i sit at my desk all day and starve. i down bottles of water hoping it will get me through another hour before i have to eat a cracker or SOMETHING.
yesterday, i made a promise to myself that i am not going to try to lose any more weight. i really dont want to... i am pretty happy with the way that i look right now... i'm not stick skinny, and that's perfect. i don't think looking like a twig is attractive at all!
i went out yesterday and i bought a mountain bike. i'm going to start riding it every day for at LEAST 90 minutes. i'm going to hook up my ipod and kick my butt into gear on that bike. i want to get into shape, i want to make sure i'm eating the right things... and if i'm not a size two after that, who cares.
i did have a chicken cheesesteak yesterday, and it was gooooood. now, it's back to business!
here's to SP and the amazing journey of life! :o)