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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

you know, it's so hard to do this the right way when i know how easy it is to just not eat. god! i'm so angry with myself for falling off. i'm so angry with myself that i wasn't stronger and more determined to do this the right way.

i'm so sorry to all of my members on twenty something sparkers, i feel like i have let you all down. i should be celebrating right now, but i can't. i'm not. i won't let myself.

i'm probably at around 135 now, and yesterday, i bought a skirt at banana republic that was a size 6 and it was a little loose! i'm thrilled. i really am, but i know that the way i got to the weight that i am at is really unhealthy. i sit at my desk all day and starve. i down bottles of water hoping it will get me through another hour before i have to eat a cracker or SOMETHING.

yesterday, i made a promise to myself that i am not going to try to lose any more weight. i really dont want to... i am pretty happy with the way that i look right now... i'm not stick skinny, and that's perfect. i don't think looking like a twig is attractive at all!

i went out yesterday and i bought a mountain bike. i'm going to start riding it every day for at LEAST 90 minutes. i'm going to hook up my ipod and kick my butt into gear on that bike. i want to get into shape, i want to make sure i'm eating the right things... and if i'm not a size two after that, who cares.

i did have a chicken cheesesteak yesterday, and it was gooooood. now, it's back to business!

here's to SP and the amazing journey of life! :o)
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • no profile photo JUMAYUMI
    Well, at least you know that's not right and are willing to change :-) And I'm sure you didn't let anyone down, we're all here to help and motivate each other, right? Stay healthy! ;-)

    5042 days ago
  • TINKERTINX
    i'm glad you're back, too, and that you realize how important it is for your health to eat and just try to live well, instead of starving.

    also, great new pictures. i look forward to seeing even more progress (done the right way) in the months to come.
    5042 days ago
  • MICHELLEBLUEIEZ
    The good thing is you know what your doing wrong and now you need to try and fix that starving yourself is dangerous and can make you end up in the hospital with feeding tubes and iv' s all over I completly agree with you that
    looking like a twig isn't attractive at all!
    5043 days ago
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