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continuing experiment with flexing 9/20

Sunday, September 27, 2020

I have been giving myself full permission to eat everything in any amount except my old binge foods and have been experimenting with snacking. (I have been eating mostly at meal time for years and have been eliminating more foods, getting rather rigid in my meal makeup. I found that I still felt a lot of fear and a sense of morality/immorality around my eating. I did not like that, so I started the experiment sometime in August, I believe.) My weight had been fluctuating about a pound and suddenly jumped up four pounds. I refuse to panic. I will make a little more effort to fill my time with non-food/non-weight loss pursuits because I had been eating out of boredom. I am 100% sure I have not overeaten by 14,000 calories in the last few weeks, so it cannot be fat gain. Even if it were, I refuse to judge my worth because of it.

I do not recommend this experiment to bingers, frankly, unless you feel you have conquered most bingeing. I wanted to try it because I felt I had conquered it, though I felt I was too fearful of not adhering to a relatively strict eating plan in order to stay steady. I have been basically weight-stable for years. I wanted more of the sense of freedom some proponents of Intuitive Eating talk about, but I do NOT want to go through their process.

The foods that have been calling to me are peanuts, peanut butter, and melon. I think the end of melon season will take care of melon, as well as learning that some proponents of plant foods regard melon as the iceberg lettuce of fruit. I hardly ever have iceberg lettuce, even though I like the crunch. I want the good stuff from the greens! I am still negotiating with pb. I didn't have it around for months and decided to try it again. I may decide to drop it again for reasons similar to the melon; there are better fats to eat and better legumes, too, since they are a crossover. I keep mostly high nutrient foods at home and limit lower nutrition foods to one-meal portions eaten out of the house. I'd like to think I can keep pb in the rotation, but we'll see. I think I may limit eating it by time: only after I have had breakfast and lunch, so I'm sure I'm not letting it crowd out better choices.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    222 days ago
    Good blog thank you for sharing your experiment. Peanut butter is my passion in moderation. emoticon emoticon emoticon

    223 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    White-green, I, too, had considered having limits on the peanut stuff. I'm going to ride the wave a bit longer and see if I drift there naturally, as I have with flour items, but if not, that is the next step. I actually think the spell has been broken a bit, but only time will tell. Thanks for the reminder that specific limits often work!
    223 days ago
  • no profile photo CD26128443
    This is a very thoughtful blog. I am looking forward to the day that I am in maintenance and can intuitively eat. Kudos to you! emoticon
    223 days ago
    Maybe you could set a rule to have no more than x grams of peanut butter (not more than 1 ts or 1 Ts for example) per day?
    224 days ago
  • OOLALA53
    Ali, I do not eat those things at all these days. The only dry packaged foods I eat are pastas, maybe a couple of times a week. I bought a medium size package of pancake mix in March and made the last batch about a week ago. Three small pancakes in the freezer still. I do not put syrup on them. I have bread or rolls only a few times a week. I used to go nuts with them, but I just choose other starches most often. Hardly ever eat out! Thanks, COVID.
    224 days ago
    Interesting experiment! I think we all need variety and interest in our diets. And the foods that you are choosing are relatively healthy (personally I could NOT safely add variety with ice cream/cake/cookies!)
    224 days ago
    224 days ago
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