As I'm writing this, I'm relinquishing control to the automatic floor sweeper AKA BOBsweep. it's a poor person's version of a ROOMBA that I bought several years ago on sale at Target. When I first got it, I was so excited. No more cleaning up the floor! No more cat hair and crumbs! Boy was I wrong.
I'm sure it's me, not him. But it doesn't exactly work perfectly; because that would mean he would clean around all of the crap on the floor without me having to pick it up. He wouldn't get caught underneath the kitchen cabinets and stop, signaling an error message. He would go exactly in the pattern I wanted him to go.
When I first got this thing, I would watch - fascinated. And then irritated. Why was it going in that direction? Why not just go back and forth? Apparently, there is some logic to the way he sweeps. And it wasn't MY WAY.
But recently, I've let him have his way with my floors. It's not perfect. He stalls out some, especially on rugs. But like a lot of things, it helps to let go a bit. He does a pretty good job of getting cat hair and dust, and definitely better than doing nothing.
When I was going through my first week of radiation, I was so frustrated and tired and just DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT. When I met with my doctor at the end of the second week, he made a comment about us wanting control, when we really have none. I thought it was pretty insightful for a doctor. But I suppose for an oncologist, he's seen how little control he really has in some cases.
I know this, most of the time. But it's hard to acknowledge, when we are facing cancer, disease, aging, grief, many of the hard things in life as well as some of the easy ones. Who knows why things happen to us, good or bad. I never felt "why me" when I was told I had cancer. Why not me? Both of my sisters have had cancer. My mom had dementia at an early age, and lived a long time with that cruel illness. We recently had an outdoor happy hour with our neighbor, the one I've been shopping for during COVID. She and Ken are both fully vaccinated, I'm one shot in. We still distanced and stayed outside, the weather has been great. It was nice to get to know her better and we learned she had lost two children to an unknown causes, attributed ultimately to a strange virus. She has two adult daughters and is close to them. But again, why her? She doesn't dwell on it and has had a good life (by her account).
So that's my ramble today. Bob has gone quiet in the bedroom and that often means he needs help so I'd better go lend a human hand to the machine. Have a good week, and thanks for reading.
Here's the Bobsweep! www.bobsweep.com