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I Come From a Long Line of Livestock

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Thursday, April 08, 2021

Close the Door Behind you! You’re letting the flies out!
As kids being kids, if we ran outside and left the door open—we heard: “Shut the door! Were you raised in a barn?”



Could have fooled me because when I was five, I thought we were a family of livestock the way I heard some adults speak.

Funny how in one breath we were told:, “If you don’t have something nice to say, keep your yap shut.” But then we heard the same grown-ups referring to people as animals. Usually barnyard four-legged creatures. That was my example in the classroom of life.



“Lazy-Cow……. Old sow……. Old goat……. Old buzzard”…and so on! (always Old).
“That old heifer needs to get out of the road!” …. I looked around expecting to see a cow blocking traffic, but all I saw was a two-legged person.

“My mistake. What could I possibly know at five?” I was only a kid.



Grownups were my teachers—my role models. They knew more.
“Just look at that couch potato, would you! If they sit there much longer, they are going to sprout!” Again, my head spun in circles wondering how a potato made it from the kitchen to the couch! Listening to grownups had me baffled.

Here is something a friend shared with me. She had struggled all her life with being overweight, saying she just never fit into the ‘mold.’ Her words: “I worked with a group of “thin” women. They talked openly about “fat” people ...calling them animal names. They snickered, then made some ‘oink’ sounds, oblivious to me sitting at the next lunch table! …After one such fat-bashing episode ... one woman came up to me and said ... “you know we aren’t talking about you, don’t you?”

“No of course not! Weighing 260 pounds, they couldn't be talking about me! After spending my childhood being called awful names, how I would love to be THAT weight again.”



Alone is no fun. Don’t we all want love and acceptance, having life and friends to enjoy?
That sweet lady went through life feeling alienated and alone. From then on, she was sure people were laughing at her. She held her head down most of the time and avoided looking up.



“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” As kids, we parroted what we heard, but mean words did hurt. Cuts and bruises eventually heal, but wounds of the heart may take a lifetime. If at all. Many are never forgotten as the one hurt trudges through life. No one can see the wounded heart but for the tears that flow When no one is looking.

I appreciate you reading and have a wonderful day! ..😊..🌹..
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MSEMBERSTORM
    emoticon
    5 days ago
  • 1ZIPPYC
    emoticon I know exactly what you are referring to. Been there. emoticon
    24 days ago
  • TOMATOCAFEGAL
    Wow. So true on many levels
    25 days ago
  • BONNIE1552
    emoticon
    26 days ago
  • WATERMELLEN
    Super blog -- so powerfully and compassionately written, and just look at the heartfelt comments it evoked! Bullying takes many forms, none of them innocuous.
    27 days ago
  • TERRIJ7
    I often travel (in my head) back to my childhood and wonder how things would have been different if I'd been able to articulate my feelings and call out the adults who were so cavalier with their words.
    27 days ago
  • no profile photo INCH_BY_INCH
    emoticon
    27 days ago
  • THINCPL2004
    That blog speaks to me, I believe that too that grown-ups are role models. And can only hope that I was a good role model to my kids, as my parents were to me!
    27 days ago
  • THINCPL2004
    That blog speaks to me, I believe that too that grown-ups are role mod
    27 days ago
  • DEE797
    Great blog and so true. The worst like others have said is when it comes from an adult and in my case who also is your parent 🥺
    27 days ago
  • 4CYNDI
    Words can hurt for a lifetime. I wasn't the heavy one growing up, but I was a tomboy. In a family and community of very conservative people where girls and women wore dresses. I
    wore short hair (hair tangled easily and I would scream when it was combed, and wore pantsets. Yeah, somethings stay with you.

    Thanks for tackling the sensitive topics.
    28 days ago

    Comment edited on: 4/10/2021 2:40:08 PM
  • NANANANA
    Wow. Some of the worst verbal abuse about my size came from my mother. Looking at year books from Junior High, I discovered that I had the longest and shapeliest in the tennis club. Even in high school, I wasn't so over endowed that boys noticed nothing else.

    Do you remember 'Play dumb, boys don't like girls with brains' and 'Boys never make passes at girls in glasses'? Through life I have discovered that a fabulous, warm smile trumps those sayings.
    28 days ago
  • CHERYLHURT
    Agree.
    28 days ago
  • LESLIELENORE
    So true. Being overweight made me alternately ridiculed or invisible. It is hard to face the world with confidence when you either laughed at or ignored!
    28 days ago
  • WANT2BTRIM
    Good read
    28 days ago
  • JUDYD207
    emoticon
    28 days ago
  • PHATPAT18
    Thanks for sharing.
    28 days ago
  • FRAN0426
    Jan, another outstanding . This name calling, being mean to children who they think deserve this treatment for the most part have learned from adults, talking about others. I tried standing up for who were bullied, but it didn't matter, they continued doing so. However, people, like teachers, should never speak that way to the children in their class, nor school. They probably were bullies when they were young and carried forward. I do believe that many people have continued doing so in their adult life, as they were never corrected or just don't care. How sad. When my sister and I were in the first grade, we went home for lunch, upon returning to school every day two girls a year older than us, were waiting at the gate to taunt us every day. One day our mother walked us back to that school after lunch, when we got there, she said to the girls, the two of you must be the ones waiting every day to pick on the twins. Well, they did admit they were. Mother stated you had better stop, if it doesn't I will let the principal know about this little situation---sure he will talk with your parents. That was the last day they ever bothered us. She spoke in a calm voice, but they get the message.
    28 days ago
  • SHAWFAN
    emoticon And that's all I'll say about that.
    28 days ago
  • MARKSMOM3
    emoticon We were always told "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". emoticon
    28 days ago
  • JUNETTA2002
    Thanks for sharing
    29 days ago
  • PATRICIAAK
    How I totally relate (referring to myself as Cinderella. Obviously, a slave has virtually no value and that's the message I internalized)!
    Thank-you for reaffirming I'm not alone in the depths of 'hidden, lasting wounds' and giving me hope that even these wounds can be treated after being acknowledged.
    29 days ago
  • MISSIC20231
    emoticon Thank you for sharing this.
    29 days ago
  • no profile photo RACHNACH
    emoticon
    29 days ago
  • SHAKERATTLEROLL
    Right on the words of cruelty emoticon emoticon as you have pointed out.. You did a good job now if only parents/role models would/could teach their children that words truly do hurt.
    29 days ago
  • GRAMDEB16
    Middle school was the worst. I still have emotional scars. My youngest daughter will be starting Middle School this fall. I will have to watch her closely and give her lots of positive reinforcement.
    29 days ago
  • AZMOMXTWO
    oh how well I remember all the mean words being ask to a dance to be never picked up or have a guy you like ask you out only to have them never come to get you or if they do they only wanted to make out not go out oh yes I remember it all so well and it kills you inside this also takes years to get over oh yes I know it all to well
    29 days ago
  • GRANDMA524DAR
    Well said. I have to share what my mother said about the very fat lady on our street "Adele has had a rough life,she's lost 2 children at young ages. Be kind to her." That's a true story, whenever we saw people acting "wrong" mom always had a "possible" reason and to be nice to them. I miss her kindness in this unforgiving world.
    29 days ago
  • SUMMER33
    now this generation is texting, online bashing..don't need any notes, or spoken words
    29 days ago
  • RHOOK20047
    Oh my, did that bring back flashes of the past. Most of those sayings, I heard my parents and other adults use all the time. Having been a "chunky" youth, I know only too well the stigma of fat names. He's not fat he is husky! Especially have two thin brothers who ate twice as much as me. But my food was always metered and weighed. And if I asked for a snack, "Do you really think you need it" while both brothers might be eating ice cream, I would be told "Get an apple or an orange." When I had kids of my own, I tried very hard to not repeat those same things
    29 days ago
  • PLCHAPPELL
    Words have power
    29 days ago
  • LIS193
    Words hit home and stay with you forever.. especially the mean comments.
    29 days ago
  • LIVESTRONG888
    I've been heavy mostly since my teen years apart from some periods where I lost the weight and kept it off for a while. I found the change in attitude towards me absolutely incredible - and in some respects I couldn't handle it at all (especially some of the male attention which can be pretty gross in the way it is expressed). Now I'm facing the same weight loss journey again but I'm much older and my reasons are different: it's more about fitness and mobility. Still my body is holding on to that weight!
    29 days ago
  • WHILLSW
    emoticon emoticon
    29 days ago
  • ETHELMERZ
    I always wondered about comedians making fun of certain celebrities or actors, singers, who were overweight! Remember back when Liz Taylor gained weight later on in life? Comedians harped and harped on her! Or actresses who gained as they aged, and yes, they are not even allowed to have the audacity to age! Always constant picking. Disgusting. Fat shaming is still allowed, People magazine promotes fat shaming.
    29 days ago
  • GETULLY
    What I used to really hate was stepping on the scale in front of the entire class for 'health' class. One day I was not completely on the scale but the teacher would not let me move my feet and read out the number to the entire class (this was done to everyone) and congratulated me on losing weight. I hadn't.
    29 days ago
  • MARYJEANSL
    A dear friend of mine has described being treated just horribly for her extreme obesity. My heart hurts for her, and for all people who are treated so badly. NO ONE deserves that!
    29 days ago
  • -TITANIUM-
    less .. no good and would never amount to anything. I was rejected by 99% of my classmates all through school .. Names .. they hurt forever Yet I keep trudging ..alone!
    29 days ago
  • -TITANIUM-
    "Sticks and stones" My father spanked me with whatever he could reach kindling wood .. razor strop .. his belt .. the stove poker - my brother's threw stones and rocks at me - My sisters laughed at me and ridiculed me .. my mother said I was worth-
    29 days ago
  • HAPPY-CATHE
    Kind of a sad blog But I understand so much of it. It's also reminds me of being bullied for different reasons back in the day.
    29 days ago
  • REDROBIN47
    What a cute blog. Loved it.
    29 days ago
  • _CYNDY55_
    Love Your Blog... emoticon
    “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me!” emoticon emoticon
    emoticon
    29 days ago
  • BUTTERFLYJANS
    Jan what a sad but oh so true blog. As I was reading it all sounded so familiar and it made me sad to realize that I had internalize all that garbage but children believe what the grown ups say around and to you. So we then spend the rest of our life trying to undo the damage.

    I try to watch what I think and say because I know how much words can and do hurt.

    Have a great day

    29 days ago
  • ARTJAC
    emoticon
    29 days ago
  • SUEARNOLD1
    Well said Jan . . .

    We do remember what has been said and/or heard stay with us a long time. It's up to us to make sure we don't continue to repeat the process.

    emoticon
    29 days ago
  • MTN_KITTEN
    Ohhhhhh ... my. How words have sliced through a many a true hearted person.

    I grew up being called ... many, many things ... but Piggy Mae was a moniker I could never, ever shake.
    emoticon
    29 days ago
  • PATRICIAANN46
    When I was still teaching Family and Consumer Ed. to students aged 12-18, the emphasis on bullying was discussed in our in-service meetings before the 1st quarter started. We were given an outline and told to put it into our curriculum based on what age group we were working with. One of the boys in my 6th grade group was very tall and used his height and build to intimidate his classmates. He was very sneaky and made sure that I was no where near him when he was doing the actual bullying. The other students were so afraid of him that they didn't tell me a thing. When I was grading their notebooks a piece of paper fell out of one of them with a very demeaning note on it. I wrote another note saying that I would take care of it and not to let on to anyone that I knew about the original note. I composed a note of my own that I felt strongly would really upset this bully. When I gave the notebooks back, I watched him closely and actually saw him read what I had written (disguised as if it were written by a 6th grade student). His first reaction was anger, followed by disbelief, and then, amazingly by sadness and hurt. When class ended, I held him back to ask him what was wrong. He actually started to cry. I asked him how it felt to be treated like that. He wasn't completely changed (he had gotten away with it for too long), but after a while, he really did become a different kid. He actually became one of my favorites. He finally realized how much hurt he had been doling out and realized the consequences. Yes, WORDS DO HURT............SOMETIMES FOREVER.
    29 days ago
  • JAMER123
    Words do hurt and forever. emoticon emoticon
    29 days ago
  • FLPALM
    Yes, we heard much the same in our era. Luckily I felt the pain in those words and tried. To never use those phrases. You are so right, we learn by example, so if it seems wrong, we must stop. Thanks again for a wonderful post.
    29 days ago
  • 1CRAZYDOG
    Wow! Sooooo many really do not think at all about the affect their words, and how hey say them, affect those who hear what's said. *SIGH* Thank you for this reminder of how important it is to be mindful of wha we say and how we say it. It leaves scars ha don't heal.
    29 days ago
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