Boundaries, letting go, toxic positivity
Monday, May 17, 2021
I try to be careful with boundaries but they can be a fluid thing for me. I really watch myself around my older sister as she tends to use me as her therapist or more like I'm there to listen to her rant. I'm aware of this, and know (mostly) that's what can happen if I spend time on her on the phone, or now, in person.
I've had to be firmer with boundaries around my husband. He isn't good with technology and I'm usually drafted to help him with his iPhone, his Garmin, etc. A friend of his is retiring and there's a website where you post your memories and pictures. I'm not familiar with this particular thing but Ken made a comment yesterday that he "needed me" to help him. This is the wording he uses and it bothers me. Finally, I said, something like "you may need me to help you but you need to ASK me." It was feeling so demanding. And I was already a bit grumpy, gosh knows why, so I shut my door and watched the sea otters for awhile. Then, he emailed me his comments to review! Pretty funny since we are in rooms next to each other. He got the message though!
Letting go: I am trying to do this with the friend I mentioned in earlier blogs. It has been hard. I am still hurt. Hoping with time it will become less, and I can figure out how to move forward.
Toxic positivity: This is a term I recently became familiar with; it's especially useful when you are going through a health problem. www.healthline.c
Included a definition and some examples. Basically, it's always putting a positive spin on things. I'm all for that, but I have gotten a bit tired of people doing it for me! There are days when I don't feel that positive and have been working on not JUST ignoring how I feel. Mostly, I am able to be grateful for all of the things. I just don't like to be told all sorts of things about how I should feel or react when it comes to my particular situation. WHEW.
I am a bit excited about starting an adult fitness program for cancer survivors. It's mainly strength training using resistance bands and that will be great for my left side. I've had some pain this week, not sure why.
I walked today, it is cooler her than normal after a week of really hot weather last week. I swam yesterday. Picked up some non-alcoholic beverages I like and stopped at Old Navy. My art class is over for the summer - sad face- but glad the instructor is getting a break. She worked hard this year.