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Replace the Rent with the Stars Above
Thursday, June 16, 2011      4 comments

In a comment to my last blog, ELALYR pointed out that fear of commitment might translate to fear of failure. This thought has been nibbling at the back of brain sense I read it. I’ve been tackling my fear of failure head-on for some years now,... Read more
But Do I Really Feel the Way I Feel
Wednesday, June 15, 2011      6 comments

I’ve been ramping up my aerobic exercise the last two weeks, and it feels really good. I’ve been toying with walking…or jogging…or running (or some combination) a 5K in October. It’s a long way off, but as I discussed in earlier blogs, this ye... Read more
I'm standing by the window where the light is strong.
Tuesday, June 07, 2011      3 comments

These bruises from hula hooping give a whole new meaning to the line, “I hurt in the places where I used to play.” I have to admit that I am less enthusiastic about going back than I would like. Hopefully, by next Sunday, they will have faded a... Read more
Made It Through the Wilderness
Monday, June 06, 2011      5 comments

I saw a great quote recently, and I have been incorporating it into my life. “When was the last time you did something for the first time?” I can say with certainty that I have been exploring some “first times” recently. Yesterd... Read more
It took so long for us to rise, don't let this be our fall
Thursday, May 26, 2011      3 comments

I learned a magical new phrase today. “Not right now.” I have a co-worker who, among other bad habits, encourages splurge eating. Today, meetings ran late and then a raucous thunderstorm delayed our regular lunchtime. I was hungry. ... Read more
Hold yourself together like a pair of bookends
Wednesday, May 25, 2011      4 comments

On Friday, I had my monthly session with the nutritionist. It went well. I continue to stay the same weight, but I am shifting muscle around, getting stronger, and losing fat. There will always be a part of me that longs for the “skinny me” o... Read more
Trapeze and a bar across my heart, across my ills
Monday, May 23, 2011      2 comments

It’s been an adventurous couple of weeks. I traveled to Dallas two weeks ago, and on my way out, someone lost control of his carry-on luggage trying to put it into the overhead bin and dropped it on my head/neck/shoulder. At the time, I w... Read more
Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty
Monday, May 02, 2011      3 comments

Plateau is definitely broken! This morning was one of the more hardcore workouts I’ve had in a longtime, and I LOVED it. There is something really freeing and incredible powerful about feeling that moment when you’re muscle burns and NOT... Read more
There's a fossil that's trapped in a high cliff wall
Thursday, April 28, 2011      4 comments

So, a little meditation on pain. I think pain avoidance is one of the major factors in my disorder. No sane person really wants to experience pain, of course, but my coping mechanisms in the past have been all kinds of whack. There ... Read more
These endless days are finally ending in a blaze
Tuesday, April 26, 2011      4 comments

In February I went back to monthly meetings with my nutritionist. The post-holiday part of the winter was rough on me this year. Work was very stressful. I hit a plateau with working out, and while I kept going, I stopped challenging myself t... Read more
The world is changing; Your heart is growing
Monday, February 21, 2011      7 comments

I confessed to my personal trainer today that I am beginning to feel a little board and burnt out with my workout routine. It's time to set some new goals. She asked me what I had in mind. I told her that I wanted to be able to do a cartwhe... Read more
Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fungus
Tuesday, February 15, 2011      7 comments

I've been seriously struggling lately with my eating. Due to a series of misadventures, I haven't been able to get to therapy, and I've felt like several things have just been out of control. Yesterday, I finally had my three month follow-u... Read more
We Jumped on the Table and Shouted Anarchy
Tuesday, February 01, 2011      8 comments

Oooo. I had a woman really make me mad in my hotel lobby this morning. One of my big eating issues is “rebellion eating.” Really, it is the main reason that I am so fat. I did the diet/binge, diet/binge cycle for a really long time, and th... Read more
I'm Free and Ready
Sunday, January 23, 2011      8 comments

Cooking means a lot to me. It's my primary creative outlet, and it's an area where I can see my confidence, maturity, and sense of self develop on a very direct way. Jim and I watch a reality show on the Food Network called The Worst Cooks ... Read more
I Got the Ways and the Means (stress blog)
Friday, January 21, 2011      3 comments

This morning, I wasn't able to get to my pilates class. It was a bonus class anyway, because I'm not normally home on working Fridays, but I've been looking forward to it all week. Stupid ice. I'm working from home because the hill I live on is ... Read more

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