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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

Woodpecker's dilemma
Wednesday, October 23, 2013      10 comments

A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challe... Read more
Biology Class
Monday, October 21, 2013      9 comments

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The question was worth 70 points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to thin... Read more
WALKING THE DOG
Monday, October 21, 2013      5 comments

A woman was flying from Seattle to San Francisco. Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off of the aircraft the pl... Read more
My Travel Plans for 2013-2014
Sunday, October 20, 2013      8 comments

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. The... Read more
Something to ponder.
Friday, October 18, 2013      7 comments

Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr. in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before: Ever notice how all of women's... Read more
The A B C...
Thursday, October 17, 2013      9 comments

After being married for thirty years a wife asked her husband to describe her. He looked at her slowly...then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.... I, J, K." She asks...... "What does that mean?" He said, "Adorable, Beaut... Read more
Difference Between Complete & Finish...
Wednesday, October 16, 2013      7 comments

People say there is no difference between COMPLETE & FINISH. But there is... When you marry the right one, you are COMPLETE.... And when you marry the wrong one, you are FINISHED..... And when the right one catches you with the ... Read more
Italian Fire Department
Monday, October 14, 2013      7 comments

One dark night in a small town of Roselle Park, New Jersey a fire started inside the local sausage factory. In a blink the building was engulfed in flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the ... Read more
Humour during the shut-down
Monday, October 14, 2013      13 comments

An award should go to the United Airlines gate agent in New York for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo. For all of you out there who have had to deal with ... Read more
Laughter IS the best Medicine!
Tuesday, October 08, 2013      11 comments

Every Wife is a "Mistress" for her Husband. "Miss" for one hour & "Stress" for the rest 23 hours! There are 2 times when a Man doesn't understand a Woman. Before Marriage and After Marriage. My Husband And I Divorced ... Read more
A few one-liners for your tea break.
Friday, October 04, 2013      6 comments

Sex Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore. A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the woman's husband. Lance Armstrong I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially a... Read more
The difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'
Wednesday, September 18, 2013      6 comments

A small boy has a school homework question to answer, so he asks his father. " Hey Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His Dad thinks for a while and then says "Right-o son......go and ask your moth... Read more
It takes a Scot......
Monday, September 16, 2013      11 comments

A young Scottish lad and lass were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands and gazing out over a loch. For several minutes they sat silently. Finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "... Read more
SARCASM AT ITS BEST
Saturday, September 14, 2013      8 comments

A woman takes her 16-year-old daughter to the doctor. The doctor says "Okay, Mrs. Jones, what's the problem?" The mother says, "It's my daughter, Debbie. She keeps getting these cravings. She's putting on weight, and is sick most... Read more
GROAN....
Friday, September 13, 2013      9 comments

"Lexiphile" is a word used to describe those that have a love for words, like: you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish, or: To write with a broken pencil is . . . pointless. When fish are in schools, they sometimes . . . ta... Read more

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