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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

DEA Badge.
Sunday, November 24, 2013      12 comments

A Drug Enforcement Administration agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher: "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said: "OK, but don't go into the field over there...... Read more
Getting it wrong can be dangerous!
Saturday, November 23, 2013      14 comments

"Hello?" "Hi honey, this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?" "No Daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul." After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul"... "Oh yes, I do, and he's upstair... Read more
True friendship.
Thursday, November 21, 2013      12 comments

This is a testimony to true friendship... A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in. "my hair and makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes ar... Read more
The newspapers are absolutely necessary
Tuesday, November 19, 2013      8 comments

A good argument why newspapers are absolutely necessary.... A regular reader was visiting his daughter recently and asked if she had a copy of the 'Mildura Weekly' handy. "This is the 21st century" the daughter replied. "We don't wast... Read more
No explanation needed.
Monday, November 18, 2013      11 comments

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried Across her neck.. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At... Read more
Alcohol control in France.
Sunday, November 17, 2013      14 comments

This happened to an Englishman in France who was totally drunk. The French policeman stops his car and asks the gentleman if he has been drinking. With great difficulty, the Englishman admits that he has been drinking all day, ... Read more
Politics.
Saturday, November 16, 2013      8 comments

The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many, and the word 'ticks' meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. ~Author unknown Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by ... Read more
Smile with the Irish.
Friday, November 15, 2013      12 comments

An old Irish farmer's dog goes missing and he's inconsolable. His wife says "Why don't you put an advert in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy"... Read more
Make me feel like a Woman!
Thursday, November 14, 2013      10 comments

On a transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman, in particular, loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the fr... Read more
Garden of Eden
Wednesday, November 13, 2013      6 comments

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY. After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, ... Read more
Irish Smiles.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013      10 comments

• Definition of an Irish husband: He hasn't kissed his wife for twenty years, but he will kill any man who does. • Murphy told Quinn that his wife was driving him to drink. Quinn thinks he's very lucky because his own wife makes him ... Read more
HISTORICAL TRIVIA
Monday, November 11, 2013      7 comments

In George Washington's days, there were no cameras. One's image was either sculpted or painted. Some paintings of George Washington showed him standing behind a desk with one arm behind his back while others showed both legs and both arms. Pri... Read more
A Most Touching Christmas Story.
Saturday, November 09, 2013      12 comments

This couple went Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve and found the whole shopping mall was absolutely heaving, packed with other last-minute shoppers. Walking through the centre, the wife was surprised when she looked up from a window di... Read more
I am back, had a great holiday in Mildura.
Saturday, November 09, 2013      7 comments

I got back home last night after spending a week in Mildura, an 8 hours drive north of Melbourne. We invited my BFF Margaret to come with us. She lost her DH 4 months ago. We left a chilly Melbourne and Mildura's temperature was mid 20's to ... Read more
Pensioner's reply re Coles.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013      12 comments

Didn't like shopping there anyway. Yesterday I was at my local COLES store buying a large bag of Pedigree dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I... Read more

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