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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

SIMPLE TRUTHS
Saturday, June 06, 2015      9 comments

SIMPLE TRUTH #1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH #2 When a lady is pregna... Read more
Breakfast.
Friday, June 05, 2015      12 comments

I was eating breakfast with my 10-year-old Granddaughter and I asked her, “What day is tomorrow?" Without skipping a beat she said, "It's Presidents Day!" .. She's smart, so I asked her "What does President... Read more
The Gay Cowboy.
Thursday, June 04, 2015      17 comments

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. ... Read more
THE OLDER WOMAN
Wednesday, June 03, 2015      13 comments

Last night, at the club, I ended up chatting and having a few drinks with 'an older woman'. In fact, for a 61 year old, I thought she looked pretty well OK. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking ... Read more
Your Parking Officer's Funeral!
Tuesday, June 02, 2015      20 comments

As the coffin was being lowered into the ground at your Parking Officer's funeral, a voice from inside screams . . . . .; "I'm not dead, I'm not dead. Let me out!" The Vicar smiles; leans forward, and sucking air through his teeth m... Read more
Understanding unemployment
Sunday, May 31, 2015      12 comments

Believe it or not, this gives you one of the best explanations of our current unemployment. COSTELLO: I want to talk about the unemployment rate in America . ABBOTT: Good Subject. Terrible Times. It's 7.8%. COSTELLO:... Read more
Prostate Exam
Saturday, May 30, 2015      11 comments

An old Jewish guy goes to his doctor for his physical and gets sent to the Urologist as a precaution. When he gets there, he discovers the Urologist is a very pretty female doctor. The female doctor says,"I'm going to check your... Read more
Medical examination
Saturday, May 30, 2015      9 comments

During a lady's medical examination, the British doctor says, "Your heart, lungs, pulse and blood pressure are all fine. Now let me see the part that gets you ladies into all kinds of trouble." The lady starts taking off her undie... Read more
Golf Lessons
Friday, May 29, 2015      9 comments

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee while another foursome of women is hitting from the ladies' tee. The ladies are taking their time. When the final lady is ready to hit her ball, she hacks it ten feet. She goes over and whi... Read more
Grandma's Boyfriend
Thursday, May 28, 2015      19 comments

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said, 'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?' Grandma ... Read more
SIMPLE TRUTH
Monday, May 25, 2015      12 comments

SIMPLE TRUTH #1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH #2 When a lady is pregnant,... Read more
Random Thoughts
Saturday, May 23, 2015      12 comments

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, it goes really fast at the end. I don't trip over things, I do random gravity checks! I don't need anger management. I need people to stop making me mad! Old age is c... Read more
A Shaggy Dog Story.
Friday, May 22, 2015      16 comments

As a butcher is shooing a dog from his shop, he sees $10 and a note in his mouth, reading: "10 lamb chops, please." Amazed, he takes the money, puts a bag of chops in the dog's mouth, and quick... Read more
The Pastor's Ass
Wednesday, May 20, 2015      15 comments

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT ... Read more
Cardiologist's Funeral
Tuesday, May 19, 2015      18 comments

A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the ho... Read more

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