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POOF and the light goes off!
Saturday, May 07, 2011      8 comments

An 86-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his test results come back normal. The doctor says, " Gary everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Gary replies, "God and I ar... Read more
European English.
Friday, May 06, 2011      12 comments

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded t... Read more
"Something About Wives"
Thursday, May 05, 2011      2 comments

My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way. -Henny Youngman ----------------------------
---- My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. -Rodney Dangerfield -----------------... Read more
7 Reasons Not To Mess With Children.
Wednesday, May 04, 2011      12 comments

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl state... Read more
First time sex.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011      18 comments

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. ... Read more
Monday, May 02, 2011      8 comments

1. The sentence " The Quick Brown Fox Jumps Over The Lazy Dog" uses every letter in the English language. 2. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 3. The shortest war in history was b... Read more
Saturday, April 30, 2011      10 comments

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them. 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (keep this in mind if you ar... Read more
People on a rope!
Friday, April 29, 2011      3 comments

Don't think I need to comment on the story below! Eleven people were hanging on a rope under a helicopter--ten men and one woman. The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave, because oth... Read more
Friday, April 29, 2011      7 comments

1. Two blondes walk into a building.......... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it. 2. Phone answering machine message - ...If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash key... 3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wea... Read more
Monday, April 25, 2011      9 comments

KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better, even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is h... Read more
Mexican Maid.
Friday, April 22, 2011      7 comments

The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, SeƱora, there are tree reasons wh... Read more
Political Correctness.
Thursday, March 31, 2011      15 comments

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, a German, a Yank, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, an Israeli ,a Romanian, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a ... Read more
Thursday, March 31, 2011      7 comments

Just in case you're planning to do a little cooking... To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. Buy Smash mashed potato mix. Keeps in the cupboard for up to a year. When a cake re... Read more
One more sleep before we fly out!
Monday, February 21, 2011      13 comments

I am getting very excited about tomorrow! Mind you, it's already tomorrow and I haven't gone to bed, lol. I am all packed and ready to leave home at 3pm for the airport. My DS is driving us there. I bet he'll be glad to have the house to him... Read more
Observations on Growing Older!
Sunday, February 20, 2011      9 comments

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them ...but your grandchildren are perfect! ~Going out is good. Coming home is better! ~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!" ~When you needed the disco... Read more

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