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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

Wedding Anniversary
Saturday, January 28, 2017      16 comments

A man and his wife were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all very successful, all agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honour. "Happy Anniversary Mum & Dad" gushed son number one, a surgeon, "Sorry I'm running late. ... Read more
Grandmas don't know everything....
Wednesday, January 25, 2017      19 comments

Little Tony was 7 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her : 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in... Read more
Jewish Joke of the Week.
Tuesday, January 24, 2017      20 comments

An airplane was about to crash, there were 4 famous passengers on board but only 3 parachutes left. The first passenger said, "I'm LeBron James, the best NBA basketball player there is. My fans need me. I can't afford to die." So he took t... Read more
A German woman married to an American man.
Friday, January 20, 2017      23 comments

A German woman married an American gentleman from Virginia and they lived happily in his home town. The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but did manage to communicate with her husband. However, a real problem arose ... Read more
The guys from the Commonwealth.
Sunday, January 15, 2017      19 comments

Two blokes living in the Australian outback saw a couple of jobs advertised by the Queen of England, looking for footmen, to walk beside her carriage. They applied and were very happy to be flown to London for an interview with Her Majesty.... Read more
I'll be waiting on the front porch! ....
Thursday, January 12, 2017      20 comments

On the first day, God created the dog and said, sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this I will give you a life span of twenty years. The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How ... Read more
Please Miss can you help me on with my boots !
Monday, January 09, 2017      18 comments

The Winter Boots (Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this.) Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling, and him pus... Read more
Mexican maid
Friday, January 06, 2017      24 comments

The Mexican maid asks for a raise. The wife was very upset about this, and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: "Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?" Maria: "Well, Seniora, there are tree reasons why I ... Read more
Black Testicles
Tuesday, January 03, 2017      27 comments

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?"... Read more
Best Regards
Sunday, January 01, 2017      17 comments

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on her advice I wish to say the ... Read more
WIFE EMAIL
Friday, December 30, 2016      27 comments

Hi Fred, this is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can... Read more
Senior Discount!
Tuesday, December 27, 2016      21 comments

An elderly couple returned to a Mercedes dealership to find the salesman had just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde. "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000 asking price,... Read more
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational
Friday, December 23, 2016      18 comments

The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the winners: 1. Cashtration (n... Read more
Friends outside of Facebook
Thursday, December 22, 2016      21 comments

For those of my generation who do not, and cannot, comprehend why Facebook exists: I am trying to make friends outside of Facebook while applying the same principles. Therefore, every day I walk down the street and tell passe... Read more
Eye Test for Driver's Licence.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016      19 comments

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. ... Read more

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