Who Does What
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee.
The husband said, "You ... Read more
Two robins were sitting in a tree. "I'm really hungry," said the first one.
"Me too," said the second. "Let's fly down and find some lunch."
They flew to the ground and found a nice plot of plowed ground full of worms. They at... Read more
After dying in a car crash, three friends go to Heaven for an orientation session. They are all asked the same question: "When you are in your casket and family and friends are mourning over you, what would you like to hear them say about you... Read more
A preacher on his deathbed summoned his doctor and his lawyer. They came, and he asked them to sit on either side of his bed and hold his hands.
They sat thus for a long while until the doctor stirred and said, ''You don't have lo... Read more
The Deadliest Job in WWII
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II.
Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him.
After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, “Did you ever kill anyone?”
... Read more
American Tourist versus Australian
An Australian man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an American tourist, chewing gum, sat down next to him.
The Australian politely ignored the American, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The Amer... Read more
The Two Penguins
A man was driving along the motorway when he saw two penguins standing in the hard shoulder. They looked lost, so he picked them up and put them in the back seat of his car.
He then goes to the petrol station to fill up and whilst he is th... Read more
Years ago when the Northern Lights were especially bright, a young man went out late one night, saw them, and thought it was the end of time.
He rushed down through the community, trying to wake up people.
He came to the house of an ... Read more
What’s In A Name?
Four retired ladies are playing bridge.
One of them looks across at her partner and says, “I know we’ve been playing bridge every week for two years, but I can’t remember your name. Could you please tell me again?”
Her partner looks... Read more
A Catholic priest and a Rabbi are talking about job prospects.
"Well," says the priest, "there's a good chance that I'll be the next bishop... maybe within the next couple of years."
"Bishop!" marvels the Rabbi, "very nice. And after... Read more
Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
Fr... Read more
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butte... Read more
Eating Ice Cream Cones
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says, “Imagine there are 5 black birds sitting on a fence. You pick up your BB gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left?”
The little boy thinks for a moment and ... Read more
A Great Dentist
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well and they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.
A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands.
He then took off his socks ... Read more
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An elderly gent was invited to his old friends' home for dinner one evening.
He was impressed by the way his buddy addressed his wife with endearing terms-calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
The couple had been m... Read more