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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A man walks into a bar
Monday, June 24, 2019      23 comments

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “Hey, if I show you something cool, can I get a free beer?” The bartender scowls, and replies: “It had better be really cool.” The man takes a Ken doll-like figure out of his bag, and p... Read more
National Art Gallery in Dublin.
Saturday, June 22, 2019      24 comments

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three of them black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises... Read more
A grocer hung a sign outside his store
Wednesday, June 19, 2019      25 comments

A grocer put up a sign that read: “Eggplants: 25 cents each or three for a dollar.” All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!” Meekly, the grocer packaged four eggplants for each ... Read more
When God Sends You Help, Don't Ask Questions.
Monday, June 17, 2019      26 comments

She hurried to the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. The woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said: "I don't know how to use this." She... Read more
A wife is proud of her dog.
Saturday, June 15, 2019      26 comments

A wife walks inside and says to her husband one weekend morning: “You know, we have such a clever dog. Every morning he brings in the daily newspapers.” Her husband shrugs and replies: “So? A lot of dogs can do that.” The wife responds... Read more
A woman has a near death experience.
Thursday, June 13, 2019      24 comments

A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and it leads to a near death experience while she’s on the operating table. As she suddenly sees God, she asks: “Is this it?” God says: “No. You have another 30-40 years to live, my child.” She re... Read more
An older man was awaiting surgery
Wednesday, June 12, 2019      20 comments

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anaesthesia, he asked to speak to his son. “Yes, Dad, what is it?” the s... Read more
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy.
Monday, June 10, 2019      24 comments

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy: “Son, how old are you?” “Eight,” the boy replied. The man continued: “Do... Read more
Five surgeons have a conversation.
Saturday, June 08, 2019      20 comments

Five Australian surgeons from the big cities are discussing which kind of person makes the best patient to operate on. The first surgeon, a woman from Brisbane, says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open th... Read more
A wife waits for her husband to come home
Wednesday, June 05, 2019      22 comments

A wife said to her husband when he returned from work, “I have great news for you. “Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.” Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes. He ... Read more
Medical Dictionary.
Saturday, June 01, 2019      18 comments

Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for kitty. Cauteri... Read more
A man was fleeing down the hall of the hospital.
Friday, May 31, 2019      29 comments

A man was seen fleeing down the hall of the hospital just before his operation. “What’s the matter?” he was asked by a passerby. He said: “Right before I went under, I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’... Read more
A woman invited people over for dinner
Tuesday, May 28, 2019      24 comments

A woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, one of the guests turned to the host’s six-year-old daughter and said: “Dear, would you like to say the blessing?” “I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied. “Just say what you... Read more
Morris went to get a physical.
Friday, May 24, 2019      23 comments

Morris, an 82-year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. After thoroughly checking over the man, the doctor gave his diagnosis and sent Morris on his way. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a... Read more
A man and an ostrich go to a restaurant.
Wednesday, May 22, 2019      30 comments

A man and an ostrich who were travelling together along a highway entered a restaurant. As they sat down the waitress asked for their orders. "A hamburger, fries, and a coke," the man replied. The waitress then turned to the ostri... Read more

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