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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

Quotes by Steven Wright.
Tuesday, August 13, 2019      22 comments

If you're not familiar with the work of Steven Wright, he's the famous Erudite (comic) scientist who once said, "I woke up one morning, and all of my stuff had been stolen and replaced by exact duplicates.” His mind sees things differe... Read more
A happy couple struggled living with Aunt Emma.
Sunday, August 11, 2019      30 comments

A happy couple had only just moved in together when old Aunt Emma was forced to live with them. Her very presence was troubling for the couple who almost broke up because of her constant nagging. For 17 long years she lived with them, alway... Read more
Two old friends gamble on a game of golf.
Sunday, August 04, 2019      21 comments

Two old friends head out to the golf course for a quick nine holes. On the first tee, the first guy turns to the other and says: “What do you say we make this time worth something. Play you for $5?” He agrees, and they start their rounds... Read more
A boss called an employee into her office.
Saturday, August 03, 2019      21 comments

A boss called one of her employees into her office one day. With a very serious look on her face, the boss asked: “Do you believe in life after death?” The employee, knowing what a skeptic his boss was, knew the answer she wanted to hear an... Read more
Aussie humour.
Friday, August 02, 2019      25 comments

An Aussie phones an ambulance because his mate's been just hit by a car.... Aussie: "Get an ambulance here quick, he's bleeding from his nose and ears and I think both his legs are broken." Operator: "What is your location, sir?" ... Read more
A new employee had his first day in the office.
Thursday, August 01, 2019      23 comments

A new employee walked into his first day on the job before he was stopped by the big boss. “We are very keen on cleanliness,” the boss told him. “Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?” Without hesitating, the new employee a... Read more
Little Johnny’s father picked him up from school.
Friday, July 12, 2019      22 comments

Little Johnny’s father arrived at school to take him home at the end of the day. Knowing the acting roles for the school play were being assigned that day, he asked Little Johnny if he got a part. Little Johnny enthusiastically announced th... Read more
Little Johnny is back.
Wednesday, July 10, 2019      22 comments

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wante... Read more
A man goes on a blind date.
Monday, July 08, 2019      22 comments

A man’s friend sets him up on a blind date with another friend of his. The man is worried about going out with someone he has never seen before. “What do I do if she’s ugly?” he says. “I’ll be stuck with her all night.” “Don’t worry,” ... Read more
Three prisoners are captured.
Sunday, July 07, 2019      19 comments

Three prisoners are captured and are about to be executed. They are asked what they wish to have for their last meal. The first man asks for a large pizza, which he is served before being taken away. ... Read more
Two men were sitting at the bar
Tuesday, July 02, 2019      22 comments

Two men were sitting together at the bar, relaxing with a beer. One of them was nostalgically regressing back into his childhood as he turned to the other and said: “Hey, have you ever realised any of your childhood dreams?” The second man ... Read more
Three drunken men climbed into a taxi.
Sunday, June 30, 2019      26 comments

Three drunken men climbed into a taxi after a heavy night of drinking. Immediately realising that the men were inebriated, the driver quickly thought up a plan to get rid of them. He started the engine, turned it off again and said: “W... Read more
A man walks into a bar
Monday, June 24, 2019      23 comments

A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “Hey, if I show you something cool, can I get a free beer?” The bartender scowls, and replies: “It had better be really cool.” The man takes a Ken doll-like figure out of his bag, and p... Read more
National Art Gallery in Dublin.
Saturday, June 22, 2019      24 comments

At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused. The painting depicted three of them black men totally naked, sitting on a bench. Two of the figures had black penises... Read more
A grocer hung a sign outside his store
Wednesday, June 19, 2019      25 comments

A grocer put up a sign that read: “Eggplants: 25 cents each or three for a dollar.” All day long, customers came in exclaiming: “Don’t be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!” Meekly, the grocer packaged four eggplants for each ... Read more

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