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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A plumber went to a woman's house.
Thursday, October 31, 2019      23 comments

A plumber was called to a woman’s apartment to repair a leaking pipe. When he arrived he was pleased to discover that the woman was quite a stunning, well-stacked lady, and during the course of the afternoon the two became extremely friendly. ... Read more
A police officer pulls over a man.
Wednesday, October 30, 2019      26 comments

A police officer pulls over a guy who’d been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy’s window and says: “Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyser tube.” The man says: “Sorry, officer, I can’t do that. I am an asthmatic.... Read more
A man gave a minister a compliment.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019      23 comments

At the conclusion of a sermon, the worshippers filed out of the church to greet the minister. As one shook the minister’s hand, he said: “Thanks for the message, Reverend. You know, I bet you’re smarter than Einstein.” Beaming with pr... Read more
Four university friends missed their exam.
Monday, October 28, 2019      22 comments

Four university friends were so confident in their abilities that the weekend before their final exams, they decided to get out of town and party with some friends. After all the partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn’t make it back home u... Read more
A boy failed his maths test.
Saturday, October 26, 2019      20 comments

A father and son were talking about the son’s failed maths test. “Why did you fail your mathematics test?” the father asked. The son answered: “On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8.” “So?” The son said: “On Tuesday, she said 4+4=... Read more
A bus driver was heading on his normal route
Friday, October 25, 2019      25 comments

One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. There were no problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however... Read more
An old man walks into a bar
Thursday, October 24, 2019      20 comments

An old man walks into a bar and orders a drink. “May I see your ID please?” The bartender asks. “You’ve got to be kidding,” he said. “I’m almost 60 years old.” The bartender apologised, but said he still had to see the licence. The man... Read more
A teacher asked a math question
Tuesday, October 22, 2019      24 comments

A grade two teacher was in the middle of a maths question on addition. She asked one of her students: “How old were you on your last birthday?” The student answered: “Seven.” “How old will you be on your next birthday?” she asked.... Read more
An English teacher asked her students a question
Monday, October 21, 2019      20 comments

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. “Alec!” yelled the teacher, “You’ve done nothing. Why?” “Because if I had a million dol... Read more
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married
Sunday, October 20, 2019      21 comments

A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception. His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how he landed such a hot 23 year old beauty. “Simple,” grins the millionaire. “I fak... Read more
A boy was asked to report on childbirth.
Friday, October 18, 2019      27 comments

A boy was asked to do a report on childbirth and so he asked his parents how he was born. “Well honey,” said the slightly prudish parent. “The stork brought you to us.” “Oh,” said the boy. “Well, how did you and daddy get born?” “... Read more
A widower went to a dance.
Thursday, October 17, 2019      29 comments

A widower named Alex went to a senior citizen’s dance. There he met Ruth, a woman also advanced in years, and the pair danced every dance together. Afterwards they went out for coffee. As they walked home, Ruth said: “You remind me of my fo... Read more
Chicken Nuggets
Wednesday, October 16, 2019      22 comments

Recently, I went to McDonald's and I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don'... Read more
A group is on a museum tour.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019      25 comments

During a museum tour the guide explains: “Here you can see the beautiful statue of Athena.” “Excuse me,” a visitor interjects. “Who is that man behind her? Is he her husband?” “No,” answers the guide. “Athena wasn’t married. She was ... Read more
A police officer pulls over a priest.
Monday, October 14, 2019      25 comments

A police officer pulls over a priest and immediately smells alcohol on his breath. The next thing he notices is an empty wine bottle lying on the passenger seat. “Have you been drinking?” the officer asks. “Just water,” says the priest... Read more

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