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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Friday, May 08, 2020      23 comments

DONALD TRUMP: I've been told by my many sources, good sources - they're very good sources - that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it's a really good road. It's a beautiful road... Read more
Definition of 'paraprosdokian'.
Thursday, May 07, 2020      22 comments

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of paraprosdokian. 1. Do not argue with an idiot... Read more
LEMON PICKERS NEEDED IN FLORIDA -- ONLY U.S. CITIZENS OR LEGAL IMMIGRANTS NEED APPLY.
Tuesday, May 05, 2020      20 comments

Sally Mulligan of Coral Springs , Florida, read an ad in the newspaper for one of the jobs that most Americans are not willing to do, and decided to apply. She submitted to a Florida lemon grove, but seemed far too qualified for the job. ... Read more
Lockdown lingo ... apologies if you've heard these already!
Sunday, May 03, 2020      19 comments

Are you fully conversant with the new terminology? Here are a few terms to get you into the conversation: Coronacoaster The ups and downs of your mood during the pandemic. You’re loving lockdown one minute but suddenly weepy with anxie... Read more
A woman wins the lottery.
Friday, May 01, 2020      22 comments

A woman arrives home, screeches her car into the driveway and runs into the house. “Honey, pack your bags, I just won the lottery!” she yells from the hallway. Excited, the husband replies: “Oh my god, that’s incredible! What should I ... Read more
A bar has three entrances.
Tuesday, April 28, 2020      22 comments

There is this corner bar that has three entrances, one on each street and one on the corner. A drunk walks into one entrance and the bartender refuses to serve him, telling him he is too drunk. So, the drunk leaves, stumbles down to t... Read more
Beautiful English
Saturday, April 25, 2020      25 comments

I called an old school friend and asked what was he doing. He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminum and steel under a constrained environment." I was impressed. On further inquiring, ... Read more
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car.
Wednesday, April 22, 2020      30 comments

Two elderly women were out driving in a large car. Both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thou... Read more
Did You Know?
Saturday, April 18, 2020      23 comments

That there are more bacteria in and on our bodies than there are cells making up our bodies - (about 35 trillion cells). That there are more bacteria in and on our bodies than there are stars in our galaxy. That we have about five li... Read more
A woman walks into a psychologist's office.
Thursday, April 16, 2020      20 comments

A woman walks into a psychologist’s office and says: “Doctor, my husband thinks he’s a dog! I don’t know what to do! Please help.” The doctor replies: “Okay, have him get on the couch.” The woman quickly snapped back: “Wait, no, ... Read more
Two ladies were waiting for their hostess.
Tuesday, April 14, 2020      17 comments

Two ladies were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed. The daughter of the family was with them, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait. The child was about si... Read more
Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven.
Thursday, April 09, 2020      20 comments

Three guys die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St Peter says: “We only have one rule here in heaven: Don’t step on the ducks!” So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is a... Read more
A taxpayer received an overdue notice.
Sunday, April 05, 2020      21 comments

A taxpayer received a strongly worded second notice that his taxes were overdue. Rushing to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. “Oh,” confided the collector with a sm... Read more
A father was teaching his son how to golf.
Friday, April 03, 2020      22 comments

“These are the proper names for the parts of the golf course,” the father instructed his 10-year-old. “You start at the tee, walk down the fairway and put your ball in the hole on the green.” “But dad, what do you call that part where... Read more
Just for laugh 😂
Monday, March 30, 2020      24 comments

Just for laugh 😂 - to break the Covid-19 tension. Plane with 5 passengers on board, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, the Pope, Chairman Xi Jin ping and a ten year old school boy. The plane is about to crash and there are only 4 parachut... Read more

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