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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A group of kindergartners were learning new words.
Sunday, October 11, 2020      27 comments

A group of kindergartners were trying to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on no baby talk. “You need to use ‘big people’ words,” she’d always remind them. She asked Chris what... Read more
Butch the Rooster.
Friday, October 09, 2020      26 comments

Listen for those bells come Election time. Sarah was in the fertilized egg business. She had several hundred young pullets and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs. She kept records and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot an... Read more
Two nuns chatting.
Monday, October 05, 2020      19 comments

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior chatting. “I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it.” “When did you use this awful language?” asks the Mother superior. “Well, I was golfing and hit an... Read more
Newlyweds wake up one morning.
Monday, October 05, 2020      32 comments

A newlywed couple wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?” The wife looks confused and says: “But that’s your task, honey.” “What? Why?” “It’s all over the Bible, d... Read more
An English teacher asked her students a question.
Sunday, October 04, 2020      26 comments

An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they’d do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. “Alec!” yelled the teacher, “You’ve done nothing. Why?” “Because if I had a million dollars, ... Read more
A woman and her husband go to the dentist's office.
Saturday, October 03, 2020      26 comments

A woman and her husband stop at a dentist’s office. “I need a tooth pulled right away,” she says. “Don’t bother with the pain relief; we’re in a hurry.” “Which tooth do you want pulled?” asks the dentist. The woman shoves her husb... Read more
A guy was in a bar drinking beer.
Friday, October 02, 2020      25 comments

A guy was in a bar drinking beer. He would finish his beer, pull out his wallet and look at a picture of his wife, order another beer take out his wallet and looks at a picture of his wife. He did this several times, until finally the... Read more
A MAN BOARDED A BUS AND SAT NEXT TO A WOMAN.
Wednesday, September 30, 2020      27 comments

A man boarded a bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful woman. The puzzled woman kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said: “It’s golf ball... Read more
A father gave his son some biscuits.
Tuesday, September 29, 2020      24 comments

When a father returned from the grocery store, his small son pulled out the box of animal biscuits/cookies he had begged for, then he spread the animal shaped crackers all over the kitchen counter. “What are you doing?” his dad asked. ... Read more
The best duck joke ever.
Sunday, September 27, 2020      24 comments

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, “Hang on! You’re a duck”. “I see your eyes are working,” replies the duck. “And you can talk!” exclaims the barman. “... Read more
Montana Brothel.
Saturday, September 26, 2020      25 comments

The madam opened the brothel door in Butte and saw a rather dignified, a well-dressed , good-looking man in his late fifties. May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Valerie." "Sir, Valerie is one of ou... Read more
Got this from a friend...a lot of truth in this.
Wednesday, September 23, 2020      23 comments

I love these 14 great thoughts. I asked one of my friends who has crossed 70 & is heading to 80 what sort of changes he is feeling in himself? He sent me the following very interesting lines, which I would like to share with you... Read more
Little Susie had a stomach ache
Tuesday, September 22, 2020      24 comments

Little Susie complained to her mother that she had a terrible stomach ache. “That’s because your stomach is empty,” the mother replied. “You would feel better if you had something in it.” That afternoon, Susie’s father came home compla... Read more
An old married couple hate each other.
Monday, September 21, 2020      29 comments

An old man and woman hate each other, but remain married for years. During their shouting fights, the old man constantly warns his wife: “If I die first, I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of ... Read more
Two rich men were talking over coffee.
Saturday, September 19, 2020      24 comments

Two rich men were talking over coffee and croissants at their country club one day and one of them said to the other one: “Hey, I tell you my driver is really stupid. You don’t think so? Let me show you.” He called his driver over and said:... Read more

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