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ILOVEROSES
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ILOVEROSES's Blogs

A man sees someone sending out Valentine's Day cards.
Sunday, February 14, 2021      29 comments

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter systematically pasting “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying sce... Read more
Couldn't resist.
Friday, February 12, 2021      26 comments

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson. 2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled. 3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move. 4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm. 5. If you’re bad ... Read more
A farmer was driving along the road with fertiliser.
Wednesday, February 10, 2021      26 comments

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertiliser. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called out: “What’ve you got in your truck?” “Fertiliser,” the farmer replied. “What are you going to do with it?” ... Read more
A drunk stumbled into the bar.
Monday, February 08, 2021      24 comments

One night, a drunk comes stumbling into a bar and says to the bartender: “Drinks for all are on me including you, bartender.” So the bartender follows the man's orders and says: “That will be $50 please.” The drunk says he has no money so ... Read more
A man runs urgently to the doctor.
Sunday, February 07, 2021      29 comments

A man runs to the doctor and says: “Doctor, you’ve got to help me. My wife thinks she’s a chicken!” The doctor asks: How long has she had this condition?” “Two years,” replies the man. “Then why did it take you so long to come and... Read more
A man entered a busy florist.
Saturday, February 06, 2021      29 comments

A gentleman entered a busy florist shop displaying a large sign that read: “Say It With Flowers.” “Wrap up one rose,” he told the florist. “Only one?” the florist asked. “Just one,” the customer replied. “I’m a man of few words.” ... Read more
A motorist stopped to help a man change his tyre.
Friday, February 05, 2021      28 comments

A kind-hearted motorist saw a man struggling to change a tyre on the side of the highway and pulled over to see whether he could help. The man had a very red face, and a dark smear across it where he’d wiped off sweat with dirty hands. His ... Read more
A group of girls were in a charm class.
Wednesday, February 03, 2021      35 comments

At one of the last all girl schools, the instructor in a ‘Charm Course’ was urging her students to give their male escorts every chance to be gallant. “Remain seated in the truck until he has had time to step around and open the door for yo... Read more
Military leaders built a state-of-the-art computer to solve problems.
Tuesday, February 02, 2021      26 comments

Military leaders succeed in building a computer that is able to solve any strategic or tactical problem. They are assembled in front of the new machine and instructed to feed a difficult tactical problem into it. They describe a hypothetica... Read more
A man was in an accident.
Monday, February 01, 2021      27 comments

A man was in an accident, and his ‘manhood’ was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic... Read more
A husband and wife we discussing going on a cruise.
Sunday, January 31, 2021      29 comments

Mr Johnson had been retired for a year when his wife of 50 years suggested they take a cruise: “We could go somewhere for a week, and make wild love like we did when we were young!” He thought it over and agreed. He put on his hat and went ... Read more
A man headed into a bar.
Saturday, January 30, 2021      30 comments

A man was sitting in a bar and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender returned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign lang... Read more
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers.
Friday, January 29, 2021      26 comments

The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers. “Yes,” he said. “I do. My father taught me.” “Good. What comes after three.” “Four,” answered the boy. “What comes after six?” “Seven.” “Very good,” said the t... Read more
A man bought his wife a diamond ring.
Thursday, January 28, 2021      30 comments

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. The next week at the pub, a friend of his said: “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-Wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied with a sigh. “But where in the wo... Read more
A farmer was discussing important issues.
Wednesday, January 27, 2021      29 comments

In a small town, farmers got together to discuss some important issues. About midway through the meeting, a wife of one of the farmers stood up and spoke her piece. When she was done, one of the old farmers stood up and said: “What does she... Read more

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