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MCORDS's Blogs

Working out
Friday, January 26, 2018      3 comments

Gonna get my work out on!... Read more
Forty down,forty to go
Saturday, February 18, 2017      0 comments

I did this first forty just trying to live well and honor my daughter's memory. This second forty three is for me! I've hit a stand still. Not getting near enough calories to move the scale. I've changed my workouts, drink half gallon of water a... Read more
Tuesday, September 20, 2016      7 comments

I miss her so much, I can't see straight, think clearly, the despair I feel is horrible. The anger is overwhelming.I want to die, it hurts so bad! I won't I still have two boys, and my husband. But every morning is a struggle to get up,and make ... Read more
New week, new beginings.
Monday, September 19, 2016      4 comments

Last week was the darkest week I encountered since the death of my daughter,Im praying for a Ray of hope this week, that I can filter my grief and anger through Gods eyes and hands. Thank you heavenly father for carrying me through this agony.... Read more
Any progress
Friday, September 16, 2016      4 comments

I used to think that losing weight was a slow process, until I encountered grief. This process is long, lonely,excruciating,and only gets harder. I'm seeing myself change but not in a good way. I talk to people her more then anywhere. I used to ... Read more
Up way to early
Wednesday, September 14, 2016      4 comments

I've been up since about 12:45. I have to get my son up at seven, go run stairs and do moving lunges. Man , I hate mornings where I get up way to early thinking about My daughter, then have the morning blues.... Read more
Tuesday, September 13, 2016      5 comments

I've started a stair climbing club, that I would like to turn into a running club, I had a few join me, but They have not been back. I've had two other... Read more
Thanking God
Monday, September 12, 2016      3 comments

Last week of grief has caught up to me, laid out with a headache. I wish i could get people to understand that when I disappeare, it's because I have fully broken down. That every bit of energy I have, goes to my nine year old and husband. That ... Read more
Just don t know
Sunday, September 11, 2016      3 comments

Grief is no joke, just when I think Im making progress another wave hits me, in just greatful God is carrying me through.... Read more
Saturday, September 10, 2016      3 comments

Man,i pray all the Tim's for God to take my frustrations away.people ask me why I work out so much. My skin crawls with grief, frustration,mental anguish. I have to work out till my body is to the point of crashing. Then my skin stops crawling f... Read more
Anger to gratitude
Wednesday, September 07, 2016      5 comments

Man, I am angry at the world. I'm angry my daughter died, I'm angry that I'm angry. I'm angry that I gained all the weight back. I'm angry, that I'm ba... Read more
So hard
Friday, June 10, 2016      6 comments

I miss my daughter with every fiber of my being, nothing seems to matter. Then I woke up a few days ago and felt myself gaining weight. I realized my cheerleader was gone, yet life and my weight was still moving on.so. I'm trying to figure out... Read more
Good times in the mountains
Thursday, March 17, 2016      0 comments

Had a good time at my sister's house, she had no really healthy food to eat, except for dinner. I did the best I could,and I'm going to let it go.... Read more
Steroids and weight loss. Anyone else dealing with this fight?
Wednesday, March 16, 2016      3 comments

I'm thankful that I have steroids to fight my disease. It's maintained and not progressing. Praise God, it wrecks havoc on my sleep moods, and weight. It stores fat in my fat. I have the moon face,and the hump on my neck. I should not complain,... Read more
Beautiful baggy pants
Tuesday, March 15, 2016      6 comments

I'm excited, I can pull my pants on with them fully zipped and buttoned. I have to pin some of them.! I'm not yet ready to go to my 14s . fear maybe? I don't want to be uncomfortable if they are tight. So, I will keep rolling the tops of my 16s ... Read more

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