Massive Trigger Warning: Discussion of physical abuse, eating disorder, and self harm and the aftereffects.
I want to preface this with, everyone has an opinion.
This is in reference to the average well meaning person. The ones who t... Read more
I'm encountering a problem: I have finally broken a lot of habits and self destruction, by separating weight and fat from my identity. It's more viewed from the outside, now: I'm fat, like I am 5' 6" tall, and I have blue eyes. My weight is n... Read more
Trigger warning: Eating disorder
So much has happened since my last blog post, approximately 3 years ago (early July, 2017). I worked 2 years at my old business, the local casino. I moved to Washington DC. I have been working at earning my... Read more
I'm at a new high. Around 340. I have around 190 pounds to lose..
It's been a rough 40 days or so. I've been struggling financially, which strains me emotionally, and drags me down physically. I applied to over 100 jobs in the last six mon... Read more
Well, I ate pretty healthy choices today. Lots of fruits and vegetables and lots of water. A fair amount of unhealthy splurge choices too. I made my breakfast shake today, for the first time.
First, 1.5-2 cups of frozen fruit. I have peach... Read more
Today I ate twice. But I did eat a serving of vegetables with each meal. I had a side salad with dinner, and a serving of broccoli with breakfast. I need to clean my kitchen so I can COOK. I'm craving a poached egg right now, but it's literally ... Read more
This week's motto is, "Baby Steps."
Monday did not start out as strong as I wanted. I had carbs for breakfast and carbs for lunch and protein and carbs for dinner and I drank alcohol that night. Tuesday wasn't much better, with minimal fru... Read more
T-Minus 7 Days
In 7 days, it will be May 22nd. My first day on my 365 day journey. I've done baby steps to prepare for this day, and I've had set backs.
I was hospitalized for my mental illness a few weeks ago. I was there for a week. During that time, m... Read more
T-Minus 36 Days
I see my doctor tomorrow. My new doctor. A new doctor. I'm now a member of the local clinic with the sliding fee scale. So the doctors are people who donate their time to take care of the community.
It's never easy as an overweight person ... Read more
T-Minus 45 Days
It's an arbitrary day.
Just a random day.
But it will be the first week I don't have my current schedule of mental health classes. It'll be my first week with a regular 3 days off.
I'm back working at McDonald's. I'm kee... Read more
2016 marks a couple of noted points.
One is that I lost weight for the first time since my wedding. I lost about 30 pounds. I went from a high point of 305 pounds to 275. I was living in Japan for four months, and I had myself well balance... Read more
Fitness Blog 6/2/16
I'm below 290.
I'm officially below 290.
As in, not according to my bathroom scale when I've only been up for 10 minutes and in the buff and before breakfast and after the toilet.
As in, after lunch, fully clothed (sans shoes) ... Read more
Happy Halloween, everybody!
I have uploaded a bunch of pictures of my "progress" and realized I haven't blogged in MONTHS.
I DID complet... Read more
Week 25, Day 3
Happy Easter everybody! A day of new life, new beginnings, new hope.
My scale is still not budging, and neither is my fat-monitoring device. But my personal trainer says I'm looking thinner. That I'm looking more toned. That I'm walking fa... Read more
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Week 23, Day 4
Is fat the worst thing I can be?
Sometimes it feels like it. When the whispers aren't even hiding any more, when doctors ignore my basic complaints (I once was lectured on my weight when I had an ear infection), when all I crave is attenti... Read more