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MARYGNOMES's Photo MARYGNOMES Posts: 2,602
6/10/09 2:37 A

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I hadn't heard that before. Makes sense though. Thanks! Maybe I should check and see if my insurance will pay for me to find a man 'I' can talk to. lol

So.CA Desert..... What I resist, will persist. I can achieve what I believe. Life is what I make it. If it's to be, it's up to me. ("I" need to take the action!) Just do it! Utilize, don't analyze. Oh yah, baby steps, baby steps...


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
6/8/09 11:26 A

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MARYGNOMES- It has been my experience that only good, kind people worry that they may be "bad". The real bad people just don't care. So, that makes you "good"! Love and hugs, Laurie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
6/8/09 11:20 A

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Oh, listen to those wise women who have already responded. I have one thing to add, you wonderful soul, you. Counselors, even when they are young, have heard so much and, after a time, they learn that when you say THIS, it might be because you have experienced THAT. I'm not saying that he doesn't have intuition, too, but experience teaches him as well. You do not have to be afraid that he can read your mind, but you could ask him outright how he is able to ferret out what you have been through. If he's nice, he'll tell you as best he can and ease your mind. It is normal to have anxiety about therapy- as humans, we WANT to expose our most horrifying, damaging moments to the light so that they lose some of their power. HOWEVER- and this is a big "however"- as humans, we want to avoid pain- it's a really basic instinct. SO, we can in our heads realize that dragging these things out will HELP us from being controlled subconsciously by these events, but we still have emotional anxiety about revealing the darkest hours of our lives to anybody. It's universal and it's normal. Your counselor may be able to explain it better. There is no harm in asking him about your anxiety related to therapy. He's there to help.

As for enjoying having a man to talk to, hey, girl! You're a woman! Of COURSE it's normal to enjoy conversing with a guy! I agree with the other responses- maybe you feel a bit disloyal for enjoying yourself? Well, the last thing your DH would have wanted would be for you to shut yourself away from men like a cloistered nun. It's a given that our departed loved ones want us to live life with gusto; getting our needs met; laughing again; basically, allowing ourselves to have guilt-free fun.At least that's what I think and TRY to do.Life is unpredictable and life is short and we owe it to them to have a darn good time while we're living it. This is easier said than done sometimes. They made the hole too big for my daughter's casket and I almost fell in it. I said, "And this is the part of the funeral when the Mom falls into the grave.", trying to make the moment OK for everybody. BUT, my real feelings at that time were, had I fallen in with her, they could have buried me with her and it would have been fine with me. Since then, I have had plenty of good times and, with each one, I feel the approval from my angel in heaven.Personally, I do not think that our loved ones want us to wallow in grief- to suffer every moment of every day until we join them in heaven. For us, I think their wish is that we live happy, healthy lives and celebrate THEM by doing that. I also believe that, whatever we feel led to do, is "normal" for us. No two people grieve in exactly the same way and, if other people do not approve of or do not like us to grieve the way we really need to, they can take a flying leap.Death is the stinkiest part of life and we deserve to have the freedom to grieve however the heck we need to.So, in MY book, you are as normal in every way as a person can be. Celebrate yourself- you are a good, kind person, who has been dealt a really bad hand in life on more than one occasion, but you are getting through and you are going to be fine. In fact, you are not only "normal", but you are also emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Laurie

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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MARYGNOMES's Photo MARYGNOMES Posts: 2,602
5/25/09 8:59 P

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Anxiety is normal as is enjoying a man's attentions who is wanting the best for us. I can usually fear hurting worse or learning that I AM as bad as I've been fearing. The truth will set you free and it's rarely what I've feared! It's often very empowering and healing. Carry on!

So.CA Desert..... What I resist, will persist. I can achieve what I believe. Life is what I make it. If it's to be, it's up to me. ("I" need to take the action!) Just do it! Utilize, don't analyze. Oh yah, baby steps, baby steps...


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COSMIC_ENERGY's Photo COSMIC_ENERGY Posts: 10,398
5/24/09 1:16 P

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Don't worry about which thread it is in. It is normal to want a man to talk to. The anxiety is all the dark parts not wanting you to heal. They will resist, but know that if you continue, they'll let go, if you do to clinging to the need for them. It is wonderful that you are making a connection with the counselor, it will speed the process of healing.

Could it be that some of the fear is that if you heal, you are being disloyal to your husband? He would want you to be whole. Bravo for taking care of yourself! emoticon


Cosmic energy of light and love


PUNKYB830's Photo PUNKYB830 Posts: 5,295
5/24/09 3:18 A

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I just started seeing this counselor. He has been seeing my son for a little while and have talked to him some and he is so easy to talk to. He said he would start seeing me too seperately, so I decided to go for it. I went for my first session this past week. It is so nice to have a man to talk to again, even if I am paying him to do it. But already he has got me to talking about a whole range of stuff all the way back to my troubled childhood. He is so spot on with everything, it is like he can read my mind and it is really scary. I find myself looking forward to the next session in one way, but in another I have alot of anxiety about it. Is this normal? Also is it normal to look forward to having a man to talk to, any man even a professional?

Sorry I entered this by mistake in the indrouce section. I meant it for general discussion.

Edited by: PUNKYB830 at: 5/24/2009 (03:20)
***THE ONLY PERSON STANDING IN YOUR WAY IS YOU***

If you beleive it then apply it and keep doing it you will acheive it.

I am always asking God to listen to me. What if I started listening to God?

Smile it confuses people.

Cherish every moment with your loved ones for you never know when it may be your last.

Every little tiny thing a loved one ever does to annoy you, you'll beg for if you ever lose them, so savor even the annoying things.

The


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