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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
1/6/11 10:13 A

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Terri- I agree with others that your Mom may be in your consciousness to offer love and support rather than warning. The holidays are the "hardest"days for those who are dealing with grief. Of course, you feel like crying. You are a human being with feelings.OK, let's say she IS trying to tell you about something bad- could you flat out ask her to tell you what you should do about it in some way- a dream or some other way? Perhaps lighting a candle or going to an art museum and searching for a painting that brings you peace and looking at it for a while or drawing the cloud being lifted off of you (don't have to be an artist-I do stick figures) or taking a bath to wash it away? With all you have been through in this life, you are a strong woman and you will be able to get through whatever comes your way I am certain. However, nobody needs a cloud covering them and I know you can find a way to get it off of you. With much love and a billion, zillion hugs for you, Terri, Laurie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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12/23/10 10:02 A

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Terri, I'm not sure that my experiences or thoughts will comfort you, anger you or leave you ambivalent.

I would like to share with you that December 25 really holds a different meaning for me other than the celebration of the birth of Christ.

Being from a Christian home as a child, we were always taught the bible and went to church (Baptist or Free Will Baptist) and we also combined many secular aspects of the holiday celebration with religious ones.

As I became older, I became more curious, not only about life but the things I was taught about religion as a child. That curiosity propelled me to learn as much as possible about the holiday we know as Christmas.

Learning what I have, has made me more cynical about the whole holiday season in general and about Christmas in particular.

I find great joy in gathering with family and friends at Christmas time, not because of the secular celebration but just that bond of family and love that is shared.

We all have stories of loss. Some of the losses I have had over the years

*December 24, 1999 - My Paternal Grandmother. I loved her as my mother as she had cared for me a great deal as a child and I lived with her for 3 years as a young adult. This one is particularly painful as from the first memories of my childhood are from Christmas eve at her home. This tradition lasted until 1997 (when I was 36 years old).

*October 6 2006 - I lost the love of my life and thought my life to be over. The thing that saved me was her love for me. Our last conversation (which was her last conversation with anyone) was about me and my health. She wanted me to get into shape because she was worried that I was going to have a heart attack.

*September 18, 2010 - My good friends lost their 17 year old son in a fiery car accident. I am still somewhat numb from this.

*September 21, 2010 - Still stinging from this, I received news that my father died in his sleep on this morning.

*October 10, 2010 - My good friend and my sister's SO died after battling health issues that arose out of his uncontrolled diabetes and liver disease.

*October 23, 2010 - My very good friend's mother passed away. Still numb from the others, this too was very sad as I was friends with her personally for many years and was a guest in her home on several occasions.

*December 15, 2010 - My uncle, my mother's youngest brother passed away after a long illness. He was 47 years old (1 year and 8 months younger than me) and although his death was expected, still is very painful.

What has carried me through these losses that have been quite heavy on my heart is my nutrition and my exercise regimen.

I only need to think back to October 4, 2006 and that last conversation with Colleen. "Tim, I'm worried about you, I'm afraid you're going to have a heart attack"..."I only want you to be happy".

The unabated love and wishes of a dying human being. Her thoughts were not on herself but on me.

That spark that she put inside of me just before her death, flickered inside of me for about 11 months before I acted on it. Since then I have turned that spark into a flamethrower and I feel it a tribute not only to her, but to the others I have known in my life that have gone on to continue to eat and live healthy and to be happy, just as Colleen wanted me to be.

Tim

Edited by: CD4228914 at: 12/23/2010 (12:12)
ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 9,576
12/23/10 7:13 A

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Only those of us who have been through this understand what you're going through. I don't know if it will help you, but I have a special candle I light when I am especially missing my husband. We put it in the middle of the table, lit, at special holiday meals. I also bought a Christmassy swag to put around his marker in the cemetery. Our first Thanksgiving without him, I was feeling bad, when I got the message"Be thankful for the 17 people who came to be with you for this holiday!" The positive thoughts are there, if you will look for them! God bless!

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12/22/10 11:56 P

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God Bless you Terri. Think on the positive, dont dwell on the negative.

Your Mom may be telling you all is well.

Heila, Cape Town, South Africa.

My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19

The Lord sustains the fatherless and the widow. Psalm 146:9

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain.


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JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
12/22/10 3:40 P

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Terri......I lost both my mom and brother 3 years ago. Christmas is usually hard, but I have had my moments lately. It is especially hard since I have been having so much stress and problems at work. Maybe your mom is around you for comfort. Blessings and peaceful thoughts your way.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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12/22/10 2:10 P

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thanks i needed to hear that. God bless. happy holidays

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12/22/10 1:34 P

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Terri, Or you could look at it like this, Your mom knows you better than anyone, and she knows this time is really hard on you, maybe she's just sending you good thoughts, I agree we always tend to look at the worst, but maybe if you look up to the sky and say Thanx, Mom I know you are looking out for me...
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read that line of my signature that helped me alot after my son was killed...
Barbara

Please call me May! For Spark
My real name is Barbara
~~~Remember to Give YOUR LOVED ONE'S a BIG HUG and KISS Everyday cuz you just NEVER KNOW...~~~~
~~PURPLE is MY COLOR~~
~~Laugh Everyday Just Because~~
~~And Remember all you have to do is:
~~PUT ONE FOOT in front of the Other and soon you'll be walkin out the Door~~
Www.fitbit.com/user.3276FH


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12/22/10 1:28 P

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Our youngest son died 4 years ago today. That changed Christmas forever for us. In fact, it is one of the reasons we winter somewhere else. My heart is heavy, but I realize that God is in charge and his plans were different for me than what I wanted. God knows what is best for me. I hope that you can realize that God's plans are best for you too. It is not easy and it is very difficult to explain, but you can get thru these difficult days.
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Sally

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12/22/10 12:35 P

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my mom died in 1974, my son committed suicide in 1998. this is usually a hard time, but this year, all i want to do is cry. let me explain, i always feel my mom around me, but for the last few weeks, she has been heavy on my mind and heart. i feel like she is trying to tell me something bad is gonna happen. i just can't get this cloud off me. if anybody has any ideas please pass them on. thank you. emoticon

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