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CD9515176 Posts: 245
3/19/11 5:38 A

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LAUREL220's Photo LAUREL220 Posts: 2,443
3/16/11 11:49 A

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Welcome Gabriele! Sorry it's a late welcome, but hopefully the thought still counts! You sound like an amazing woman.
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Spark is the place to be if you need support. Keep reaching out - lots of people care!
Love always,
Laurel



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3/4/11 6:13 P

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I have found that walking lifts the fog of grief. Good memories of my son come to me while I walk. So glad that you have discovered that feeling!
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GOGABE2's Photo GOGABE2 SparkPoints: (0)
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3/4/11 4:08 P

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Thank you, everyone, for your kind and supportive words.

I was trying to explain to a friend what finally motivated me to start walking, exercising and watching what I eat. I have been overweight for decades (that was hard to type, lol). I told her that before Jack died, being overweight made me feel bad physically. Now, since he's passed away, I feel bad emotionally and mentally as well. All of me feels bad, and I guess that was "hitting bottom" for me. I can't do much right now about the emotional and mental, but I can do something about the physical. And so I started walking. The nice thing is I feel better in so many ways, not just physically. My brain has been so foggy for months, and now it feels like walking is helping blow the fog away.

I am so happy I found SparkPeople!

Gabriele

MAMAANGE's Photo MAMAANGE Posts: 614
3/3/11 11:43 P

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Welcome, Gabriele. I wish you didn't know the pain of losing a child; no parent should have to know that. My heart goes out to you. Welcome to this place. You are among friends.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning the Devil says,
"OH CRAP, SHE'S UP!"

traynorpiano.com/


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
2/24/11 8:03 P

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Gabriele- I am so sorry for the loss of your son. Jack sounds like he was a wise little guy. Our daughter, Bonnie, who died a few years back, used to say, "Well, Mommy, life is life!". It is really, really tough to lose a child. You seem to be coping as well as possible. Your walks can be in honor of your little guy. One thing I do know: Love never dies. I believe that our loved ones care for us from their perfect places in heaven and support us always. I hope that you will visit this forum whenever you need to, for the wonderful people here got me through the tough parts when Bonnie died. Everyone here is kind. If we were tribal people, these women would be the wise women of our tribe. We have loss in common and life has been better for me because of these people. With much love and billions of hugs, Laurie
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Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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2/24/11 10:46 A

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Thank you for your kind words. Your comment about meeting people you'll wish you didn't have to meet reminds me of how we all felt about the Ronald Mcdonald House:

So thankful we could be there and wishing none of us had to be. We are all still helping each other to this day: holding some through grief, cheering others in remission and encouraging the kids in treatment. Jack, early on in his treatment, remarked that if he hadn't gotten cancer, we wouldn't have met all these new friends. Out of the mouths of babes.

Thank God for the internet and all the ways we can keep in touch.

Take care, Gabriele

ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 9,576
2/24/11 5:51 A

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The raw pain that you're feeling is a familiar pain to those of us on this team. You're right, it is an individual journey. But along the way you will meet many people who have made the same journey. You'll meet some wonderful, understanding people, who you will wish you didn't have to meet in this particular way, but none-the-less who will be great additions to your treasure of friends. God bless you and grant you peace and acceptance. Love and hugs!

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2/23/11 7:49 P

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So sorry to hear that you lost your son, Jack. We lost our youngest boy, Ben, just before Christmas in 2006. He had heart problems and the Drs said he could live to the age of 35. He was 24 years old when one cold snowy evening he died falling asleep. I went into his bedroom to kiss him good night and he was gone. He had 5 years of chronic health problems with just more of the same type of life ahead of him so it was a blessing for him to go to the arms of Jesus. Life is different for us. First we were parents of a child that was not going to get well. Second we have joined other parents who have lost their child. You will find that Sparks has a lot of GREAT listeners! So glad you found us.
Sally
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COSMIC_ENERGY's Photo COSMIC_ENERGY Posts: 10,398
2/23/11 7:08 P

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Welcome--you will find this a very accepting group who will hold your hand along the way. sound like you are very aware of what is working for you right now. Fresh air and walking are excellent. The journaling--perfect. emoticon


Cosmic energy of light and love


JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
2/23/11 5:41 P

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Gabriele, I'm sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I lost my brother to brain cancer 3 1/2 years ago. It was difficult to watch him endure all that it brought to him. After he died I went on a downward spiral that did not allow me to take care of myself. It wasn't until a good friend finally made me see that I was slowly killing myself that I was able to get back onto a regime of exercise and good food. Good that you have stress relievers to focus on, especially journaling. Good luck to you and welcome to SparkPeople. It's a great place to find support when you need it.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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2/23/11 4:50 P

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Welcome to the team & to Sparks, Gabriele. I am so, so sorry for the loss of your son. I cannot begin to imagine. I have lost both my parents, which wasn't pleasant either, but it's to be expected. We were never meant to outlive our children.

I am glad you are here & reaching out. I'm not terribly active on this particular team, but when someone comes here to talk, or vent, or whatever, one or several of us are usually around to respond.

Bless you today. Hugs from me, Jennifer, in Texas

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LADYRINO's Photo LADYRINO SparkPoints: (0)
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2/23/11 12:22 P

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First welcome to the team and I am so glad that you are here though I wish you didn't have to be. From one mother to another sending hugs. I lost my dear Halleigh in 08/2009 due to drowning secondary to a massive seizure (had she not been in the water it is surmised she would have died of sudden epiletic death - she just happened to be in the water when it happened). She was 14. My heart goes out to you. Please feel free to vent, reach out, cry, celebrate, howl at the moon. We are here for you.

"When I first started running, I was so embarrassed, I'd walk when cars passed me. I'd pretend I was looking at the flowers."
Joan Benoit Samuelson
Olympic Marathon Winner


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GOGABE2's Photo GOGABE2 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/23/11 10:56 A

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Hi. My name is Gabriele and I joined a few days ago. We lost our sweet son Jack to a brain tumor this past October. He was 11 when he passed away after a 14 month battle.

I know I'll never be "whole" again, and that's okay. But I feel that I can help myself in my healing and grieving. I have some amazing friends we met through our journey with Jack. Some have lost their children, others are still in the fight. They are all a true comfort to me. I have great friends and family also giving wonderful support here at home. My husband and I are even closer now, thank you God, which is a real blessing. We talk about how we are each feeling and give each other comfort. But we don't always feel the same, or at the same time. I'm realizing this grief journey is really a private, lonely journey. I pray to God for guidance and help. He keeps me moving forward.

I feel like I need to help myself in many areas. The physical and emotional are so tied together. The pain and stress of grief can be very physical. I can feel the anxiety overwhelming me in a very physical and painful way.

I started walking several weeks ago. What a help that is! I'm still knitting like a crazy woman (I invented the "waiting room" scarf, patent pending, lol), which is a huge stress relief for me. Several people and God, possibly also Jack, flat out told me or sent me signs to start journaling. So I've started, slowly. It all helps.

And I found SparkPeople. I'm hoping that this community and all its tools will help me in my healing. I know when I eat better and exercise, I feel better. Of course, I've always know that, but I don't think I've ever quite felt the need to feel better as I do now.

I'm typically a lurker on forums but I'm hoping to reach out more, to help and to be helped.

Thank you all!

Gabriele



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