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JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
8/3/11 8:44 P

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Kimi....I'm so sorry for your loss. Having lost my mother 4 years ago, I know how difficult it is to lose a parent. Remember to find ways to take care of yourself during this time of sadness. Stop by and let us know how we can help.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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KIMI_SILVA's Photo KIMI_SILVA Posts: 1,739
8/3/11 3:52 P

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Hi - I just joined the team. On June 15th my mom called me to let me know that my dad had gone to the ER during the night and had been admitted. Then on the 16th my sister called to let me know that the doctor had just informed them that my dad had terminal cancer going form his esophagus to his stomach and was attaching to his liver. For three weeks my mom, two sisters, niece, nephew, and I all took shifts staying with Daddy so he was never, not for one second, alone. During that time my dad was acting like his normal happy, funny, and loving self: teasing the nurses by holding his breath when they would check his heart & lungs, or any number of other things; as well as taking every opportunity to tell each of us how much we meant to, and were loved by, him. When I got to the hospital for my Thursday date night with Dad (July 7), my sister said that after breakfast Daddy was able to go to sleep and had been resting peacefully ever since. However, he stayed that way all through the night, and then the next morning, when the nurses came in to do his daily assessment, he did not know where he was or the date. When I called my sister to let her know she asked me if he knew who I was and I was shocked by her question because I couldn't imagine Daddy not knowing me. She insisted that I ask though - so, I did. He studied my face and said, "I don't remember" and it took my breath. Then I said, "Daddy, it's Kim. Do you remember Kim?" Again, he said, "I don't remember" and my heart was broken. He never regained any amount of lucidity, and the next evening, Saturday, July 9, 2011 at 7:00pm, Daddy took his last breath and peacefully passed away holding Mother's hand.
This feels unbearable and impossible. Daddy is the greatest man I have ever known and has always been larger than life to me. How can he be gone? I am thankful to have found this group though. I sympathize with and understand the pain of loss now and I will keep you all in my prayers that we can each find the peace needed to keep going.

Kimberlynn from California

Audaces Fortuna Iuvat - Fortune Favors the Bold
it's our actions that define us
What we choose
What we resist
What we're willing to give it all for


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
5/30/11 11:54 A

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Susie- I am so sorry to hear about all of your losses. Sometimes it must feel overwhelming for you. The anniversary of your baby brother's passing may be a tough day, so I will be thinking of you and sending much love and many hugs your way in August. Of COURSE you still cry a lot- that is the normal human response to the sadness and unfairness of death. Please be kind to yourself and take care. Post here whenever you need to share. I think sharing about grief lifts the burden just a tiny bit. With love and a million hugs, Laurie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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MAMAANGE's Photo MAMAANGE Posts: 614
4/11/11 10:42 P

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Welcome, Susie. I'm sorry to hear of all your losses. Talk about things all you need to, here or wherever you find a comfortable and accepting place. emoticon

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the ground each morning the Devil says,
"OH CRAP, SHE'S UP!"

traynorpiano.com/


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KATEJ17's Photo KATEJ17 Posts: 136
4/10/11 3:07 P

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Dear Susie,
Welcome to the group and know that we are always here whether you stop in a lot or a little. I am so sorry for your losses....so much in such a short time; it is so hard to see your family, the one thing that you identified with through the years dwindle. I am so thankful for my faith which has helped me and my young daughters (5 and 8) come to terms (in a tiny way) with the sudden death of my husband. As hard as it is every day not to have him here with us, we know that ultimately we will be together forever on the other side of the veil. Some days, that time can't come soon enough, but I know that we are still here for a reason. Please allow yourself time --lots of it-- to grieve. There is no "getting over it" ; you just continue to change and grow into a new person who is living through it. take care,
kate



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COSMIC_ENERGY's Photo COSMIC_ENERGY Posts: 10,398
4/10/11 1:56 P

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I feel your loss. I am down to one brother and he lives 800 miles away. Please come here as often as you feel led to. Ranting in the Ranting room or on the regular threads. We ALL understand that there is no time limit on grieving. Maybe find ways to honor your brother's spirit. What are things he liked to do or eat. Have days where you celebrate that in some way, or donate to his favorite charity. You know from experience that it takes time to find the new normal. www.griefshare.org has group and online resources.


Cosmic energy of light and love


ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 9,576
4/10/11 6:33 A

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Hospice and it's grief groups were a lifesaver for me. You do not have to have been involved with hospice to go to the grief groups.
I am so sorry for your losses. The saying is that God doesn't give you more than you can handle, but sometimes you think he has way too much faith in you!
I lost my husband 2 1/2 years ago. Life will never be the same. However, I think of it as my "new life", and have found some fun and satisfaction in this "new life". I am well aware of the example that I am setting to my family, which has helped me through some tough times.
I wish you peace.

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JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
4/10/11 12:12 A

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Susie....welcome to SparkPeople. Having lost several people in a short amount of time (7 deaths in 368 days, including my mom and brother), I know how difficult it can be to grieve for all those you have lost and not feel overwhelmed by the pain. Losing my brother was certainly the most difficult for me. I hope you have good support around you and consider seeing a therapist if you don't already. That really helped me get through the time. Good luck and check back here often.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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SUSIEDOE's Photo SUSIEDOE Posts: 3
4/10/11 12:05 A

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I am new to this group but thought people could help me. In Nov 2007, I lost my mother. In August 2008, I lost my father. Then, in August 2010, I lost my youngest brother. He was 38 years old and died of liver cancer. It has been devastating. I miss him so much and still cry a lot. He left behind three kids (ages 3, 6, and 8). He was such a great friend to me.

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