SP Premium
Walking Guide
Group photo
Author:
LMSW55's Photo LMSW55 Posts: 8,703
10/25/15 12:03 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Suzanne, I can understand you turning to Starbursts and Reeses for comfort. I think you need to allow yourself to work through the loss which unfortunately sometimes means emotional eating. Halloween is close and there is more candy available than any other time of year. Who do you have for a support system? Have you gone to any grief counseling support groups? Sometimes sharing your sadness with others in person allows for you to isolate less which may not trigger your snacking as often.
My sister Laurie was the team leader for this "Moving Forward Through Grief and Loss". She lost her battle with cancer in March 2015. The loss is so recent that sometimes coming on Sparkpeople helps me feel connected to her.



.�*�� ) �.�*�) -:�:-
(�.��(� ;.�MARY.�*�)♥

Embrace all of your imperfections and know that they are not imperfections at all - they are you, a perfect creation from above.


 Pounds lost: 42.0 
0
16.25
32.5
48.75
65
CD12784656 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (35)
Posts: 1
10/3/15 8:25 A

Send Private Message
Reply
Message Removed

SAL1512's Photo SAL1512 SparkPoints: (458,841)
Fitness Minutes: (210,436)
Posts: 1,677
10/10/14 12:52 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Mothertosix,
So sad that you lost your son and that we have that in common. Our youngest boy, Ben, died going to sleep the evening of Dec 21, 2006. His little dog, Riley, was sleeping in his lap when he went to heaven. He was 24 years old. We knew he had an inoperable heart condition, but you always think that you have time. He hugged me every day. I still miss that hug. Because of his chronic health problems he lived with us while attending college part time and working part time as a pharmacy tech at Walgreens. He wanted to be a pharmacist. It is amazing, after all these years, that I still expect to see him when we come home.

The grieving process is your own journey. Be sure to fight for your way because it is the right way. Do not let anyone tell you what to do or set your timeline. Our church family was helpful. I suggested counseling. My Dear Husband and Ben's older brother both eventually did get some counseling. The men in my life grieved very silently and at times appeared to not grieve. They avoided it. They were grieving but not publicly. They were trying to be too brave because Dear Husband was so ill at the time. Our Compassionate Friends support group was VERY helpful. We started with them about a year after Ben died. My Dear Husband and myself hardly remember that first year. It is still a blur.
Praying that your journey gives your family peace,
Sally
emoticon

 Pounds lost: 13.6 
0
4.25
8.5
12.75
17
JOANOFSPARK's Photo JOANOFSPARK Posts: 8,897
10/4/14 5:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MOTHERTOSIX, Believe me, I know how you feel; We lost our only son, six months and four days ago...on March 31st.....the pain is almost unbearable at times...it was from a massive heart attack and every day I wonder how I am going to make it through the day......the nights of course are the worst...he lived with us so it is even more painful, knowing that he is not going to be coming home...that he .....I do know how you feel.....
My heart goes out to you, for I know that words cannot begin to ease the pain and suffering that you feel; they can only assure you that someone cares....

I have not been to grief counseling but I think we might need to go, if I can talk my husband into going.....but I think this group might help get me through it all..of course, my husband and I do talk.....it would be even worse if we could not..but sometimes you just need someone else to talk to.....for me, I write......in a journal.....I've written several poems about his death since then, and have thought about collecting them in a book of memories..

I do like the idea of writing letters to our son, so that might be a good way to work through some of your grief....but it is normal to grieve and no one can tell you how you should grieve or how it is going to take...there is no limit or time table.....we just have to take it moment by moment .day by day.....to make it through. if someone tells you that you need to do this and that to properly grieve.....there is no set way or proper way to grieve.....there are no set rules that say we have to do a certain thing by a certain day. Grieving for a child is something that cannot be ruled or regulated...we can only do the best we can .....and pray and trust that God is in control.

Joan
Arkansas -- Central Time Zone
"To be "heart healthy' focus on the positive; it's persistence rather than perfection that will create progress."


The difference between success and failure is the effort we put into getting there.
FINFIN2's Photo FINFIN2 Posts: 7,453
7/19/14 7:57 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I'm sorry for your loss.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else ~ Alison Boulter

www.flickr.com/photos/36569004@N06/

ktalley.blogspot.com/


 current weight: 230.0 
230
214.25
198.5
182.75
167
ZUCCHINIQUEEN's Photo ZUCCHINIQUEEN Posts: 9,615
7/9/14 6:52 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
My heart goes out to you. A wise woman once told me that there's no way out of grief except going right through the middle of it. You are in a very painful part of that process right now. Have you thought of going to a Hospice grief group? You will meet other people who are where you are in the grieving process and there is a lot of comfort in sharing feelings and methods of coping. My daughter and I went together, and it was very helpful. You do not have to have had hospice in to attend these groups. I can remember asking God to help me through the next hour....or next 10 minutes...even the next minute. Somehow I muddled through. I remember thinking of it as my "new life"....not necessarily a life I wanted, but a new life that was forced on me. Remember that you have other children who need your attention. They are watching how you res pond to this tragedy, and will pattern their responses after you.

 current weight: 127.0 
207
187
167
147
127
SAL1512's Photo SAL1512 SparkPoints: (458,841)
Fitness Minutes: (210,436)
Posts: 1,677
7/8/14 12:27 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So sorry for your loss and so sorry that we have so much in common. Our youngest son, Ben, died going to sleep Christmas of 2006. He had a known heart condition and our loss was still too soon. And so here we are again, attending a wedding reception, visiting friends and relatives without him. And then when we arrive home, since he was not with us, we expect him to greet us at the door. The "little" episodes of grief never end. Who would have ever thought that our lives would take this turn. It does get better. We have one angel in heaven waiting for us!
Sally

 Pounds lost: 13.6 
0
4.25
8.5
12.75
17
COSMIC_ENERGY's Photo COSMIC_ENERGY Posts: 10,398
7/8/14 11:39 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
MOTHERTOSIX-- First, my sympathies go out to you. There are no words that can help. Just know we hold you in the Light. Be easy on yourself. Give yourself permission to be sad for as long as you need.

Talk about it whether to a counselor, friends, or on paper. Writing in a journal can be helpful. Just let it all out without judging the content. Try writing letters to your son if appeals to you. either in a journal or on loose paper. Keep them or burn them and release those feelings.

It might help his siblings to once a day to say something you/they wish he could have seen, been part of, or enjoyed with him that day.

Hang in there. Day by day, week by week, month by month, year by year, you may notice now and then that the pain comes further apart.

Come here as often as you need to share, vent, or just be.
emoticon

Edited by: COSMIC_ENERGY at: 7/8/2014 (11:41)

Cosmic energy of light and love


OHIOMOM's Photo OHIOMOM SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (63,003)
Posts: 15,184
7/8/14 11:30 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
So very sorry for your loss. I have no words, no sage advice. Only can send prayers and hugs your way. I can not imagine your pain.

Just went to the funeral of a friends son, he was 38 yrs, father to 3 boys and had a heart attack in the middle of the night while his wife slept. Seems no reason for who is gone and who stays.

Dot
Goal: To do better today.


Treasure the past, live in the present and believe in the future.


 Pounds lost: 24.0 
0
34.5
69
103.5
138
MOTHERTOSIX SparkPoints: (91)
Fitness Minutes: (110)
Posts: 4
7/8/14 11:19 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It's only been three months since I lost my son and it's an unbearable pain for me. I have six kids and he was my fourth child. He died at 18 years old from a cardiac arrest and I'm so depressed. I wake up so sad realizing he is not here. I have been up and down with my weight and that past two years I was really into consistent work outs but when my son passed, I stopped all of it. It seems all I want to do is be with my other kids and eat to fill that void. I miss him so much and I still have a hard time realizing that he would no longer come down those stairs of come in through the front door....I just sometimes don't know what to do....

 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
17.75
35.5
53.25
71
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other Moving Forward Through Grief & Loss Introduce Yourself to Team Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
3/1/2021 3:06:07 PM



Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=-1x2004x58467789

Review our Community Guidelines