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JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
7/16/09 2:53 P

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Laurie....I remember my aunt saying "Thank you for coming" to my cousin's and grandmother's funeral. Several of us thought that was strange. As if we would be anywhere else really. When my mom died, it became the phrase we used to make others laugh. A cousin close to us helped us make light so that we could find moments to smile. When my brother died it was slightly different. I was in so much pain that I had to be sedated. I remember people telling me that I was holding up well. They had no idea I was drugged up in order to stand there and thank them for coming.

We shouldn't have to stifle our emotions in order to comfort others. Just after my mother's one year anniversary I had a bad day at work. Everyone, especially my administration, nearly freaked out because up to that point I had held it together. They just didn't know what to do and held a meeting to discuss how "worried" they were about me. It was ridiculous! I had a bad day and ended up singing that song for about a week after. We shouldn't be afraid of emotions. Maybe our kids would feel more comfortable with it if they saw real emotions embraced by adults.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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7/16/09 2:41 P

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I wish there were more kind and caring people like you in this world, maybe then our lives wouldn't be so tough. We would all have people we could rely on and shoulders to cry on. People would understand and be sympathetic. With more caring people the world would be a much better place to be. Thank you for your kind words and hugs from afar, they mean a lot!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
7/16/09 11:58 A

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Janine- I just don't understand why we have to shelter others from our tears. Goodness knows, all sorts of violence and intimacy is shown every day on TV, but if somebody cries, it's all of a sudden labelled a "chick flick". Well, that's just plain wrong. If the feelings are real and the tears come, they should be acceptable and that person should receive extra hugs and care. I have hugged strangers, coming to visit the graves, when I'm visiting my daughter's grave. One of them said she is older but she misses her Dad and she's getting married and people tell her "Well, he had a long, happy life" and expect her to suck it up. I told her to tell them that it doesn't matter how old a daughter is- every little girl wants her Daddy to walk her down the aisle and, if they can't understand that, they aren't nice people. I'm sick of being nice to people who are not nice. That's the kind of faking it that I'm getting too old for. If you can't accept my tears, you don't have to look at me, but I don't have to hide them away either.So there!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Laurie

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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JIACOLO's Photo JIACOLO Posts: 50,951
7/7/09 12:37 A

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For the first year I cried every time we drove in the car to see our daughter (whose college is an hour and a half away). That drive always made me think of my mom and brother. My husband hates to see me cry so I would always have to turn my head and cry softly so as not to upset him.

I try to not upset others, so faking it is a part of that. I'm much better now, but still find myself hiding my eyes from others so that they don't see my tears.

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- It's Janine!


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CHEEKOCHRISTMAS's Photo CHEEKOCHRISTMAS Posts: 405
6/29/09 12:35 P

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I'll second that. People don't want to really hear about how you're having a hard time and if you tell them they don't know what to say. Why do they even bother asking? I'm so sorry for your loss, I can only imagine how devastating it would have been to do CPR on your mother and try to save her. emoticon


Keep going, keep dreaming, don't ever give up.

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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
6/22/09 2:24 P

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Oh, hon, I hear you loud and clear. Not only are we supposed to be perfect, thin, model-types in our society, but we are also supposed to "get over" grief quickly. The people, who have watched their loved ones pass and those who have cared for them whilst they faded away and those poor soldiers who have witnessed things that have happened to their friends and comrades during war and on and on- these people are supposed to "BUCK UP!" and "GET OVER IT"? HEY! GUESS WHAT? Some of us are real human beings with souls here and it takes a while to get over horror-filled deaths, OK? I'm telling you, the people who don't "get it" should be THANKFUL that they haven't been through this yet and CUT US SOME SLACK! I do not think that we should have to "fake it" but if we don't, some people think of us as "weak" and take advantage. I'm glad you posted here because I've had the exact same problem this week. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to respond to you and to what has been going on with me as well. I am sending you many hugs and much love. Laurie

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Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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6/21/09 5:52 P

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Notice this thead has been idle for a while. I just found it because I'm feeling a little lost right now. I needed something to occupy myself for a little while.
It's amazing how shallow our society has become. At one time it was normal for family members to wear black and openly grieve for a year or more after the death of a family member.
My mother died in October of 2008, in front of me. I was the one performing CPR when the paramedics arrived. It just seems that I have to fake it every day because no one really wants to see me cry or comfort me when I get upset. I especially have to fake it at work because "well it's been months now, aren't you feeling better yet?"
Wel I just wanted to share and talk a little, thanks.

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MYTURN401's Photo MYTURN401 Posts: 1,137
9/27/08 12:26 A

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Dear Team, Thank you so much for sharing, It's amazing to me how people think you should heal fast from a great loss. I have come to the conclusion that in our culture we are not taught how to respond to death or illness. Our culture covets, beauty youth and perfection. As we all know that have been hit with the reality stick life is not always pretty and we are not always perfect. But we are not shown how to grieve and support others. So yes I fake it through many situations in order not to make other uncomfortable.

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TAMINGDRAGONS's Photo TAMINGDRAGONS Posts: 11,818
9/26/08 12:37 P

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It's wonderful to hear that you are enjoying your new marriage! I bet it's nice to have the house to yourselves again. I know I really appreciate it when I wnat to be alone, I can be alone.

An experienced dragon slayer-tamer stepping into the light of each new day in 2020!
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7 KJV
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake [for what is right], you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. I Peter 3:13-14, NKJV
Warrior, Demi Lovato https://youtu.be/


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ROSENOTHORNS's Photo ROSENOTHORNS Posts: 1,146
9/25/08 3:09 P

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I have done a good job of faking it around certain folks. I am for real when I share at my AA meetings. My son has been gone 11 months. The day after his funeral..my now stepdaughter/grandson moved in..She left her husband. Now, 11 months later..she has decided to go back to him. The house is quiet (thank God). Have no distractions so I can grive as I choose...hubby and I are also newlyweds..we tied the know on 2/16/08. Can comforably grieve, be a newlywed, and make our home as blissful as possible. (BTW, hubby and I act more like we've been married 30 yrs..like a pair of your favorite broke in blue jeans).

3rd edition..page 312
Sober today only by the grace of God....3/26/89.
Montgomery County, Illinois
I Thess. 4:13-18


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ROSIEJ1942 Posts: 18,876
9/10/08 4:22 P

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I gues I said bsfore that I don't ever feel like I have to fake it, but, now that I think about it, working at the Nursing Home around the Residents, yes, there I do, B/C when some of them ask me how I am, I say fine, okay, so I do have to be that way around some of them, Some of them had been told by someone, who I don't know, that I had lost my DH and some of them asked me right after it happened and I went back to work. They asked me "did your husband die" and I said "yes, he did, so they gave me their condolances.

Rose

November 19
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ROSENOTHORNS's Photo ROSENOTHORNS Posts: 1,146
9/10/08 9:58 A

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((((((Everyone))))))))

3rd edition..page 312
Sober today only by the grace of God....3/26/89.
Montgomery County, Illinois
I Thess. 4:13-18


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TAMINGDRAGONS's Photo TAMINGDRAGONS Posts: 11,818
9/9/08 2:46 P

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I know what you mean about others just wanting you to be okay. Maybe that's what those around me think or feel. I know a lot has to do with me rather than them. Some things I can handle, other things I can't. I find that when I really need a good cry, it's better to be alone now, even though I long to be held and understood. It feels good to talk about my son and to lament over the things we are missing together, but who do I KNOW for a fact because they've told me that it's okay for me to talk and cry in front of them?! Well, very few. And those that say it's okay, well, it's like it's not when I do cuz of the look of helplessness they express or the blank face or the lack of anything to say - not even an I'm sorry or I understand or whatever. Maybe they're still afraid of saying something wrong. It would be good if someone close to me would at least agree or mirror back to me the grief that I so intensely feel - like I do for others who are in pain. Know what I mean?

It really is as if my life was put on hold and everyone else goes on as if nothing happened! Of course, I AM moving forward; some days it's a really slow pace.

Putting my health needs in proper priority has helped me alot cuz I have something to do every day that requires my attention and focus. I have set some things aside because I don't feel up to doing it anymore. I figure that somewhere along the line I'll either start those things up again or my life will take a completely new turn. You just never know. THAT lesson we have all learned very well!

An experienced dragon slayer-tamer stepping into the light of each new day in 2020!
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7 KJV
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake [for what is right], you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. I Peter 3:13-14, NKJV
Warrior, Demi Lovato https://youtu.be/


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PUNKYB830's Photo PUNKYB830 Posts: 5,295
9/8/08 1:14 A

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My family is very supportive and if I need to talk about anything I can, but I just feel like more they want me to be okay now if that makes sense, not so much that I have to be, but they want me to be, so I try to be and just keep things to myself most of the time. And my sister is my main supporter and she is 9 months pregnant and her othr child was diagnosed with autism this week, she just became a stay at home mom and has so much on her plate right now that she just does'nt need to see me breaking down all the time. And my brother has been having to go to the hospital with high blood presser, so I don't want to stress him out either. But I am okay, I deal. I just really miss him some days more than others and family gatherings are hard. I have been keeping busy, first I decorated, bought new furniture and re did my kitchen and now I have started Christmas shopping early. I really should'nt be spending money, but it gives me something to do besides sit home and think. Christmas is my favorite holiday, but I hope I can make it this year. All the planning and gift buying will keep me busy, but when that is all over Jamie still won't be here and I want him to be a part of the holidays too, it just won't be the same without him. Also they are talking about having court in Dec and I am just praying every day that God shows the truth and they lock this man away for what he did.

Love and Smiles :o) JJ

***THE ONLY PERSON STANDING IN YOUR WAY IS YOU***

If you beleive it then apply it and keep doing it you will acheive it.

I am always asking God to listen to me. What if I started listening to God?

Smile it confuses people.

Cherish every moment with your loved ones for you never know when it may be your last.

Every little tiny thing a loved one ever does to annoy you, you'll beg for if you ever lose them, so savor even the annoying things.

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BARBCL's Photo BARBCL SparkPoints: (0)
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9/7/08 3:45 P

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Thanks to all. People have to go on with their lives, and those of us who have suffered a devastating personal loss have to do our best. I think that unfortunately some people who have been luckier just don't understand and basically would rather not. For that reason, and because I have learned to get through each day and to see my son through his children, I hardly ever mention his death unless I am talking to someone I totally trust not to react in an unfortunate way. emoticon s and emoticon s to all.

Edited by: BARBCL at: 9/7/2008 (15:43)
SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
9/7/08 1:18 P

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TAZ- Do your family and friends not hug you when you cry? My goodness, girl, you DESERVE more than TOLERANCE! That so stinks. I wish I could come right through the internet and give you a great big hug right now! Every person in this world deserves to have at least one person who will hold them while they cry and support their feelings. Anyway, the following are just a FEW of the hugs that you deserve:
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon Much love and many, many hugs, Laurie

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
9/7/08 1:11 P

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PRINCESSALEXA- I wish I had your ability to really pretend and get things done. You are a heroine! Love, Laurie

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
9/7/08 1:09 P

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BARB- Unfortunately, you are right. People who "wallow" in grief more than a few weeks are looked down upon by cold-hearted folks, who consider them "overly sensitive". It stinks. OF COURSE you have deep sorrow about your son's death- you were his Mommy and he was your baby boy. I'm glad you try to avoid situations where noone is at all sensitive to your pain. That's self-preservation of the best kind. Remember that the love you two shared will never die and that your baby boy is your guardian angel now, protecting you from his special spot in Heaven. Love, Laurie

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
9/7/08 1:01 P

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MICKI- I am so sorry about the loss of your son through murder. When we lost our daughter, people around us were kind enough to talk about her and give us hugs. We were fragile and "shell-shocked" and I, too, have needed anti-depressants to make me functional. It IS insane that people do not speak to you about your son- OF COURSE he is on your mind and OF COURSE you need to talk about him. As for your co-workers, well, I hope you won't take offence at this, but I must send in the SP kickboxing team to kick them in their tiny brains and remind them that it's not nice to say things like,"I forget what happened" to the mother! Here they are:
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How insensitive could co-workers be? Obviously, VERY! Much love and many hugs to you, Laurie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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SMURFETTE2423's Photo SMURFETTE2423 Posts: 3,295
9/7/08 12:52 P

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JJ- Good heavens, girl! It has only been 5 months since an incredibly senseless, horrible murder of your DH occurred right before your eyes.OF COURSE it hits you often. People who expect you to be okay in 5 months obviously have never experienced grief and loss. If they HAVE, and they still expect you to jump up and be AOK by now, they have worse problems than you'll EVER have. Hon, some days are just harder than others- that's what your deal was- true mourning and sadness. I think I would just let myself cry and maybe your relatives will hug you and allow you your moment of grief and even join in. I would certainly hope so. If they don't, maybe you will have to fake it in front of them, but give them one chance, unless you know already that these are pretty much cold people; uncomfortable with emotional expression of any kind. I tend to "fake it" in front of strangers and mean people, but I'm lucky because my family will give me hugs when I need them and, thus, free me to go on. It DOES feel wrong when others just go on with life as usual, when YOUR life has crashed. It's unfair and cruel. You have been through an incredibly horrific experience, but people are expecting you to bounce back and be your old cheerful self in 5 months? OUTRAGEOUS! You have my good thoughts, prayers, much love, and many hugs, Laurie emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Without a sense of humor, you may as well keel over and die, so LAUGH!


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TAMINGDRAGONS's Photo TAMINGDRAGONS Posts: 11,818
9/3/08 1:04 P

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Yes, I do fake it at times. With the passing of time, I have found it a little easier to tell myself that I can wait to grieve later or tomorrow or on the weekend. I NEVER skip those times that I plan for when I do put-it-off. For years, I couldn't imagine EVER being able to do this.

I rarely, if ever wear mascara cuz I cry so easily. I carry extra foundation in my purse, just-in-case I need to run off to the bathroom and cry. I really haven't found anyone who would stand and hold me when I do need to let it all go - wish there was! I have, however, found a select few who let me cry near them, and I do appreciate that, just would like a little more than tolerance!
emoticon

An experienced dragon slayer-tamer stepping into the light of each new day in 2020!
For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. II Timothy 1:7 KJV
And who is he who will harm you if you become followers of what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness sake [for what is right], you are blessed. And do not be afraid of their threats, nor be troubled. I Peter 3:13-14, NKJV
Warrior, Demi Lovato https://youtu.be/


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PRINCESSALEXA's Photo PRINCESSALEXA Posts: 735
8/27/08 4:18 A

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I agree it is important to have your feelings and be with people and/or yourself and allow your true feelings to come through. You can not run from your feelings and unexpressed feelings turn into depression.

Of course, you want the people in your life to accept you as you are, with all your grief. You need to surround yourself with people who can understand that grief is not something you can turn on and off or that has a time table.

However, sometimes it has helped me to "fake it" to "act as if" because some times I need a break from my emotions. sometimes they feel toooo big and consuming and as if they could eat me up, and that is when I know I have to take a break from them and "Act as if" I believe the grief will lessen.

"Act as if" I cared about ordinary mundane things and actually try to concentrate on some of them.

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8/25/08 10:13 P

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I avoid situations in which I would have to fake it, but sometimes its necessary because my sorrow over my son's death is too deep. The world I live in and have always lived in has no patience with those who "wallow" in their own grief.

ROSIEJ1942 Posts: 18,876
8/25/08 9:01 A

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SInce I lost my DH 5month's ago come this 26th. I am still grieving, but it has seem to be getting better, I can truthfully say that my co-workers were, have been and still are very comforting and still some ask me how I am doing, I guess when they see me, they remember the loss I had and I still cry at times, lots of times I would be driving down the road to go somewhere and think about things and then the tears would come, but, it is good to cry and I still do, the hardest part to me is getting used of him not being here with me and I know it must be the same with everyone else no matter if it's a child, parent or spouse, but time does seem to be healing. I have been reading books and things for the grieving process and they have helped me a lot. But, I can't say that I fake it it, when anyone asks me how I am I tell them I am okay, and I am although things will never be the same we do need to take care of ourselves and go forward with our lives. I hope you all have a good day.

Rose

November 19
Michigan



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MICKIG's Photo MICKIG Posts: 379
8/25/08 8:44 A

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Forgive me! I replied to Punky in a thread that was about faking it! I pulled it up from an e-mail notice. SORRY!

So now I will answer that original posters question.

Y E S! emoticon
I feel like the biggest fake in the world. Everyday. Most people don't really want to know how you are. No one talks about my son. Which is so insane! That is the thing foremost on my mind always. I appear to be a pretty happy person, always did and I am now. At work anyway. Some of my co-workers even admitted that they forget what happened!
They think I seem fine, so I am fine. Meanwhile my world has crumbled, and I am just trying to keep my head above it.
I am taking Lexapro, and I know without it I would be very difficult to live with. I cried about half of each day before I started taking it. I still grieve, still cry, still think of and miss my son. But I am able to function and at least be a mom to my young daughters.

Mom to Justin, Carissa, Abby & Emma


"Self-love is the only weight-loss aid that really works in the long run. "


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MICKIG's Photo MICKIG Posts: 379
8/25/08 8:36 A

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{{{hugs}}} PunkyB830

I am so so sorry for your loss. I know you have to be going through so much, your grief compounded with your children's.
Special occasions are so hard, I don't think that will stop. Sounds like you are doing very well, but it is okay to cry! Don't try to be too strong.
I speak from experience unfortunately. My son was murdered 9+ months ago. I never in a million years envisioned losing a child to murder. You picture the worse (losing a child) in an accident or illness. Same goes with a spouse I assume. It adds another whole issue in grieving.
Anytime you want to talk, I am willing. My son was newly married, and I am close with my daughter in law. I know she has had a terrible time. They have a 2 yr old daughter. She turned 2 a month after he was killed.

Be good to yourself,
Micki

Mom to Justin, Carissa, Abby & Emma


"Self-love is the only weight-loss aid that really works in the long run. "


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PUNKYB830's Photo PUNKYB830 Posts: 5,295
8/25/08 2:54 A

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It has been 5 months since my husband was murdered in front of me. So much has went on since then, like breaking my leg, having surgery and mostly helping the kids through and I started redecorating my house and all has kept me busy and helped not keep me so focused on the bad stuff. I do pretty good most days, but sometimes it just hits me from no where. At this point people seem to expect you to be okay, so when I am not I just don't say anything. Yesterday was my nephews birthday and we had a big party at my house. Family get togethers are really hard because my husband and I always loved that more than anything and we rarely missed the chance for everyone to get together. It just did'nt feel right without hime here and all day I wanted to cry, but I just held it in and made it through. I have been to other get togethers since and they did'nt bother me as much as yesterday, so I don't know what my deal was.

JJ

***THE ONLY PERSON STANDING IN YOUR WAY IS YOU***

If you beleive it then apply it and keep doing it you will acheive it.

I am always asking God to listen to me. What if I started listening to God?

Smile it confuses people.

Cherish every moment with your loved ones for you never know when it may be your last.

Every little tiny thing a loved one ever does to annoy you, you'll beg for if you ever lose them, so savor even the annoying things.

The


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