SP Premium
Walking Guide
Group photo
Author:
FIT4LIFE!'s Photo FIT4LIFE! SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (19,158)
Posts: 4,838
12/31/09 5:40 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Dream - I just had to read your joke to hubs - he and I both busted out laughing.
emoticon

~Reba~

Fall in love with the workout and not the results of the workout
- Gregg Plitt

Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you're the man who made them.
- Frank Tyger


 Pounds lost: 26.8 
0
8.5
17
25.5
34
GWBACH's Photo GWBACH SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (206,873)
Posts: 6,404
12/31/09 4:26 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
LOL...both jokes are good.



"The future ain't what it used to be"
Yogi Berra
Life is full of obstacle illusions.
-- Grant Frazier



 Pounds lost: 5.0 
0
11.25
22.5
33.75
45
DREAMNSCHEME's Photo DREAMNSCHEME Posts: 4,096
12/31/09 11:09 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
It is near the Christmas break of the school year. The students have
turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the
children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early
dismissal.

Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can
leave early today."

Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart
and will answer the question."

Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."

Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."

Johnny is mad that Susie answered the question first.

Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."

Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."

Johnny is even madder than before.

Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"

Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."

Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."

Johnny is boiling mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the
questions.

When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these b*tches would
keep their mouths shut!"

The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?"

Johnny: "TIGER WOODS. CAN I GO NOW?


Never look down on anybody, unless you're helping them up.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived.


 current weight: 204.0 
230
223.5
217
210.5
204
CD4827055 Posts: 3,878
12/30/09 10:42 A

Send Private Message
Reply
LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that is TOO funny! emoticon

COOLTWINMOM3's Photo COOLTWINMOM3 SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (57,683)
Posts: 12,566
12/29/09 2:07 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,

'Jesus knows you're here.'

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more, after a bit, he shook his head and continued.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as

a bell he heard

'Jesus is watching you.'

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.

'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that "he is watching you"

The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'

'Moses,' replied the bird.

'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'

'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'


Dream It
Think It
Work It
Achieve It

Mothers Of Multiples Team Leader!


 Pounds lost: 0.0 
0
13.75
27.5
41.25
55
NEWCARL's Photo NEWCARL Posts: 766
11/18/09 4:12 A

Send Private Message
Reply
At least he could have said Cat-Woman. WTF. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Funny joke. Thanx

NOTHING VENTURED

NOTHING GAINED




 current weight: 242.6 
252
245.25
238.5
231.75
225
BURNLIKESTARS's Photo BURNLIKESTARS SparkPoints: (107)
Fitness Minutes: (29,153)
Posts: 5,132
11/17/09 10:51 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
lol

Self-control is knowing you can - but deciding you won't.
FIT4LIFE!'s Photo FIT4LIFE! SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (19,158)
Posts: 4,838
11/17/09 10:47 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Oh, too funny!

~Reba~

Fall in love with the workout and not the results of the workout
- Gregg Plitt

Most barriers to your success are man-made. And most often, you're the man who made them.
- Frank Tyger


 Pounds lost: 26.8 
0
8.5
17
25.5
34
JAYJAY44's Photo JAYJAY44 Posts: 6,824
11/16/09 7:59 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
This is oh, so funny but as MAK134 said, "sad but true!"

emoticon emoticon

Jane



 current weight: 259.5 
293
269.75
246.5
223.25
200
HFULCHER Posts: 235
11/16/09 1:12 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
emoticon THAT WSA HILARIOUS

 current weight: 150.0 
150
143.75
137.5
131.25
125
VALERIE5978's Photo VALERIE5978 Posts: 2,240
11/16/09 12:25 P

Send Private Message
Reply
Haha, I'm copying and pasting that to email my husband :)

Leader of Bitchy Ladies SparkTeam
MAKI34 Posts: 1,298
11/16/09 12:06 P

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
Funny, sad but true!

"Life isn't fair. But it's still good!"

"What other people think of you is none of your business!"

"THERE ARE TWO REASONS PEOPLE DON'T DO THINGS ...

ONE IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T KNOW HOW.

THE OTHER IS BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO."



 current weight: 174.6 
206
197
188
179
170
GWBACH's Photo GWBACH SparkPoints: (0)
Fitness Minutes: (206,873)
Posts: 6,404
11/16/09 11:56 A

My SparkPage
Send Private Message
Reply
I am the married guy, coming home to this


The Black Bra

I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a
mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.

We were chatting about our relationships and decided to
amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes.
We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.

Here's how it all went....
My engaged friend:
The other night when my boyfriend came over he
found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, "You are the woman of my dreams.
I love you." Then we made passionate love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was
wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over
my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra,black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes.
When he came in the door and saw me he said,
"What's for dinner, Batman?"




Edited by: GWBACH at: 11/16/2009 (12:05)

"The future ain't what it used to be"
Yogi Berra
Life is full of obstacle illusions.
-- Grant Frazier



 Pounds lost: 5.0 
0
11.25
22.5
33.75
45
Page: 1 of (1)  

Report Innappropriate Post

Other No Topic Off Limits General Team Discussion Forum Posts

Topics:
Last Post:
7/3/2021 4:46:32 AM
8/2/2020 12:18:13 PM



Thread URL: https://wfl.sparkpeople.com/myspark/team_messageboard_thread.asp?board=0x29451x29776307

Review our Community Guidelines