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5/5/21 12:48 P

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Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

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2/19/21 10:03 A

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12/18/20 4:17 P

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11/27/20 1:55 P

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11/5/20 10:41 A

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10/30/20 12:49 P

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What do ghosts eat for supper?
Spooketi!

What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
Pillowcases!

What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese!

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8/6/20 12:47 P

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6/22/20 11:39 A

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4/29/20 6:56 P

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Timely...LOL!



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2/16/20 1:43 P

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Sunday Smile

(Enlarge to read easier.)




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1/25/20 1:17 P

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An elderly Florida lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her vehicle.

She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at the top of her lungs, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”
The four men didn't wait for a second threat.
They got out and ran like mad.

The lady, somewhat shaken, then proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the driver’s seat.
She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition.

She tried and tried, and then she realized why. It was for the same reason she had wondered why there was a football, a Frisbee and
two 12-packs of beer in the front seat. A few minutes later, she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into the car and drove
to the police station to report her mistake.

The sergeant to whom she told the story couldn't stop laughing. He pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale men were reporting a car jacking by a mad, elderly woman described as white, less than five feet tall, glasses, curly white hair, and carrying a large handgun.

No charges were filed.

The moral of the story?

If you're going to have a senior moment… make it memorable.


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1/24/20 11:59 P

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1/15/20 1:55 A

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9/11/19 9:31 A

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9/9/19 2:27 P

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HA HA HA! Such funny jokes. They made my day.


"You never know just how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have"
Unknown
"....This above all, to thine own self be true"
Wm Shakespheare
"If it is to be its up to me"


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4/30/19 5:06 P

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4/9/19 2:02 P

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A blast from the past ...



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3/21/19 9:01 P

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3/17/19 1:25 P

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3/6/19 10:28 P

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JANICEONE1's Photo JANICEONE1 Posts: 59,973
6/4/18 6:59 A

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LOL, thanks for the morning laugh



DIET-Did I Eat That





Habit-breakers=Weaners





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6/5/17 1:09 P

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4/25/17 12:19 P

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isn't that the truth.....




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that was cute, thanks



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4/18/17 11:13 A

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Just a few seconds, but it will leave you smiling ... beagle who sings and plays the piano ...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6nhS
DAKRj8


Good job Buddy!!!

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2/18/17 10:34 A

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2/14/17 3:48 P

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I like it, it so true............



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2/13/17 6:24 P

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Sorry, but I couldn't resist!



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Keep on Keto-in' on!
Healthy Diet ~~~ Heal Thy Diet ~~~ Heal Thyself

~Charlene~ Southern California Pacific time

Starting Weight: 273
Current Weight: 140.4


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12/24/16 8:58 P

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thanks for the morning laugh



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9/1/16 11:45 A

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that was cute



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good ones, thanks for the laughs



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1/24/14 7:15 A

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Not really jokes, but they may bring a smile to you face or a bit of a jiggle to your belly.

"I don't want to brag or make anybody else jealous... but I can still fit into the same earrings I wore in high school."

"Calories (noun)
Tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes a little bit tighter every night."


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10/31/13 7:02 A

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Q. What did the ghost say to the bee?
A. Boo bee!

Q. What is a skeleton's favourite instrument?
A. The trombone.

Q. What is Dracula's favourite fruit?
A. A nectarine.

Q. What is the problem with two twin witches?
A. You never know which witch is which!

Q. What do you call a witch who likes the beach but is scared of the water?
A. A chicken sand witch.

Q. What did the skeleton order with his drink?
A. A mop.

Q. Where did the ghost go on vacation?
A. The BOO-hamas!


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10/30/13 1:01 P

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My bed is a magical place where I can suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do.
emoticon

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10/1/13 10:44 A

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A bit of a groaner, but cute nevertheless!

What do you call a bee who's having a bad hair day?
A Frisbee



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Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, and then turn it to the left. Repeat the exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

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A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, quite angry, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

Deb

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That is too funny, but you know is true..I have seen people that look far older then they are from smoking and drinking and of course not eating healthy....

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

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8/28/13 10:27 A

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A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six," he said.

Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
6/30/13 1:38 P

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That is TOOOOO funny Tracy!!!

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

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CD914375 Posts: 749
6/29/13 1:01 P

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Edited by: CD914375 at: 7/20/2013 (15:57)
THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
6/26/13 5:44 A

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Some people hear voices.. Some see invisible people.. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




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THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
6/24/13 5:27 A

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Oh ya, I can related to the burn!!!! Glad we can wear pants to work now and knee hi's !!!

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




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CD914375 Posts: 749
6/23/13 2:45 P

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Edited by: CD914375 at: 7/20/2013 (15:58)
THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
6/10/13 5:36 A

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Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




 current weight: 173.0 
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EDWARDS1411's Photo EDWARDS1411 SparkPoints: (1,380,399)
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6/9/13 9:07 A

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Barb was lying in bed one night. Art was falling asleep but Barb was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.

She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting.."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.

A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me.."

Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my Neck..."

Angrily, Art threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Barb asked..

"To get my teeth!"


Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
6/4/13 8:16 A

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Cute! And that happens in real life all the time!!!

Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




 current weight: 173.0 
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EDWARDS1411's Photo EDWARDS1411 SparkPoints: (1,380,399)
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6/3/13 10:13 A

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SENIOR DRIVING

As a senior citizen was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, " Vernon , I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on I-25. Please be careful!"

"Hell," said Vernon , "It's not just one car.. It's hundreds of them!"



Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
3/19/13 5:44 A

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I deleted my last joke, I think it might have been offensive, sorry if I offended anyone,
deb

Edited by: THM_DEB at: 3/20/2013 (04:59)
Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




 current weight: 173.0 
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165.75
158.5
151.25
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EDWARDS1411's Photo EDWARDS1411 SparkPoints: (1,380,399)
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3/17/13 1:22 P

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Val

Moving More! Eating Less!
Motivation gets you started, habit keeps you going!

THM_DEB's Photo THM_DEB Posts: 4,396
3/17/13 12:49 P

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Too funny Val.

K, so a man went to a bar and said bartender please give me a shot and a beer, the man downed the shot and beer and opened his coat and looked inside..looked at the bartender, I need another..so this went on for a few times...every time he opened his coat and looked inside.

Finally the bartender said, sir why do you keep looking in your jacket?

He said, I have a picture of my wife in here and when she starts to look good I can go home...

emoticon

Edited by: THM_DEB at: 3/17/2013 (12:49)
Deb

"Enemy" of motivation is the tendency to see yourself as the hapless victim of forces (or urges) over which you have no control."

My affiliate link:
THM Store (books) - when at the site click on main website where the newer plan books are
store.trimhealthymama.com/#_l_id

THM Team
www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65140




 current weight: 173.0 
173
165.75
158.5
151.25
144
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