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DIANNEMT's Photo DIANNEMT Posts: 15,082
8/12/15 8:52 P

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Tess--when our first one left, we had 2 at home and the youngest (5th grade) cried all the way home. It does get easier on everyone and yes, I was a basket case with the last leaving--and was this time leaving her in WI to start school in Iowa without me helping her move in. So--vent here!!

Dianne
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8/6/15 9:32 A

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Tess I had to LOL! I do the same thing when my son is out. I am from WI and the law is home by 12 unless it is a school event or work related until 18. He just turned 18 in June. My front door squeaks so I know he is home and I refused to get it fix for that reason. If he is not home, I start texting. Now he has a girlfriend who is only a few blocks away. He will be silly and drive in at 12:01 or sit in the car and see if I text. I try to explain that I trust him however we live on the edge of a very small town! We have 2 bars so it is the drivers from the bar I don't trust! Lecates right they don't understand we worry! My son has 2 jobs and works 47 hours a week. Yesterday he went down to 41! He works at a jewish camp where the last 800 kids left yesterday. He was working 8-2 AM every day except Tues he worked 2-8 pm. Saturdays he had off. He know works M-F 9-? His 2nd job is a gas station, eatery he works F and Sat 6-10 and Sun 6-9. Both PM

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8/6/15 8:31 A

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They don't get that we worry. Just be prepared for when he comes home to not see him as he will be getting together with old friends---at least the first year---and then they find they have nothing in common anymore with the kids they went to high school with---LOL

Eastern Shore of Maryland
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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 9:31 P

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Our son will have his own car too, and he's rooming with 2 other guys, one who happens to be his best friend from high school. Here too, he's only here to eat and sleep, otherwise he's out with friends or working. He just learned that he's only in at noon tomorrow rather than 6:30 in the morning, so he's out. I hate that....I don't sleep well (if I sleep at all) until he's home.

Theresa

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8/5/15 8:58 P

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Teresa-my son will be 2 hours away but he will have his car there and there are lots of kids from that area there. As it is he is only home to eat and sleep! He has a gf still in HS who lives blocks from here. I am unsure how often he will or will not be here!

Edited by: CD15255276 at: 8/5/2015 (20:59)
TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 8:49 P

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Hi Anne,

I never thought of that happening. I'm sure I'll lose it along with his mom and dad when the time comes, but I do tend to get into a routine, and might feel that it's being disrupted. But then, I think that when he comes home for break that I'll be busy planning and preparing for his arrival.

Theresa

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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 8:46 P

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Hi Marty! Will he be far from home? Our son will be only an hour away, so we're not too concerned with going there to visit him.

Theresa

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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 8:45 P

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We've always watched his soccer and basket ball games all through elementary, middle, and high school. The idea of catching some of his college games was always on the table. We don't expect him to be able to come home much either, because he'll have a job by the college. I'm sure we'll be make many trips his way rather than the other way around.

Theresa

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ILUVTTV's Photo ILUVTTV Posts: 5,968
8/5/15 6:18 P

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Hi Theresa! Welcome to the team! I remember when my 1st went off to college. I held it together when she left because everyone else was losing it. However, by Christmas break when she came home I had a routine going and I found that she was disturbing it, lol! I was glad she was home, but...! We are here for you as you go through this transition! Laugh, cry, spout off, etc! We'll help you through!

Anne

At the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth. ~ Phil 2:10





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8/5/15 4:39 P

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Hi Teresa!

I'm Marty! I post on your other post because I saw that one first! I'm a single mom. My only son is headed off to college this fall also!

TERRIJ7's Photo TERRIJ7 Posts: 15,449
8/5/15 4:27 P

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I can see how it might be a little easier than for others since you already share the boys with another household--but now it's split 3 ways instead of just two. You will miss the random visits, but there will be other things that fill the void. I'm glad someone mentioned watching some of his soccer games because I was thinking the same thing.

Terri
Pacific Time zone

"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." Eph 6:12
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8/5/15 3:19 P

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That will make it a bit easier---and maybe lead to you becoming a bit closer to the younger one. Sounds like you have a good relationship with the oldest.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 2:43 P

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Thank you Dawn and Lecates,

We still have one at home. One thing that I'm sure makes it easier for us compared to some is that the boys spend half the time at their mom's and the other half home with us (they live with us). So, because of this, we're used to having time to ourselves a couple of times each week, but our oldest tends to drop by daily for something or to just say hi. That we'll miss. I look forward to the discussions we could have here.

Theresa

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8/5/15 1:58 P

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First off, welcome to the team. Yes, it is hard to see that first one off. But we raised them to fly so we also should be proud that they are going off. With him not being that far from home, he might not be so much missing as you think--although with playing sports he will super busy until soccer season is over---but what fun that you can go to a few of his games---college soccer is definitely competitive.
First off, we are a small active core of ladies, all in different stages of the empty nest---some with some still at home, some with kids gone, and one like you whose son is going off for the first time this year. We will cheer you on, commiserate with you, listen to your rants, laugh and cry with you. Come join in with us on the chat.

Eastern Shore of Maryland
USING CAPS FOR VISUALLY IMPAIRED FRIEND TILL SURGERY! Team leader for Empty Nesters and the Gardening Team.


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DAWNO64's Photo DAWNO64 Posts: 19,588
8/5/15 1:41 P

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This one is going to be both easier and harder, in different aspects. He's the first, so it rips you up, but you still have one at home. That second one? Totally empty nest syndrome just makes it really hard to adjust.

The bonus is more time for yourself and your relationship. After a month of adjustment time you'll find yourselves adopting some new routines.

Doing my best...one day at a time.


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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 1:21 P

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Thanks Dawn. I know it will get better. :)

Theresa

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DAWNO64's Photo DAWNO64 Posts: 19,588
8/5/15 12:47 P

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I feel for you, Tess. You'll get through the worst of it, I promise, but I still wish my DS was 8 again.

Doing my best...one day at a time.


Do you suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder)? Check out the new team.

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TESSC49's Photo TESSC49 Posts: 368
8/5/15 12:29 P

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Our oldest will be moving in to the dorms in just over 2 weeks. He'll be playing soccer, so he gets an earlier start. He'll only be an hour away, but it will still be an adjustment for us all. I'm his stepmom, but have helped raised him and his brother for the past 13 years, so I'm just as much a part of his life as his biological parents. Which means, that this transition is just as difficult for me as everyone else. I'm excited for him, but at the same time wish that he was still in high school. emoticon

Theresa

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